Wedding Planning

Kyle and I had the rare (and uber fun) opportunity to play "Let's plan a wedding" last weekend. Now, if you had asked me a year and half ago* if I thought "Let's plan a wedding" was a fun game, I'd likely have socked you in the eye. I'm not gonna lie, one of the best feelings in the whole world was waking up on the morning after my wedding and realizing A. I married my soul mate (Eeee!) and B. I never had to plan another wedding. Ever.

But it seems that planning SOMEONE ELSE'S wedding is a smidge different. There's all the fun of making big plans and dreaming about little details, without any of the stress that comes along with actually committing to a decision. A decision that could make or break the ENTIRE wedding and therefore make or break THE REST OF MY LIFE. (I'll admit that I got a bit carried away when planning my big day.) Anyway, when you don't have to make any concrete decisions yourself, planning a wedding is down right fun.

So when two of my and Kyle's dear friends asked if we would help them select a venue for their wedding next year (they live on the east coast and plan to get married here in California) I all but jumped for joy.

Our friends selected a cute little wine country town on the Russian River in Northern California for their nuptials, and asked if Kyle and I wouldn't mind driving up there to check out a few spots. Hmmmmmm, spend a day in wine country looking at beautiful wedding venues along a river? OK! Plus - Kyle and I got to experience that "JustEngagedLet'sPlanAWedding" giddiness all over again. It was an awesome day. I found myself saying things like "Ok, so here is where we... uhhhh, I mean the bride and groom... would stand during the ceremony" and so on. :) I totally found myself getting lost in excitement of it all as if it was my own wedding. But again, without the stress and fear of making, *gasp*, the wrong decision. So much fun.

And the best part is that it seems I'm not half bad as a wedding scout. I diligently took pictures and copious amounts of notes. I checked out restaurants/bars/hotels in the neighborhood so the bride/groom could tell their out of town guests where to go the weekend of the wedding. I asked about preferred Vendors , and bathroom facilities, and the availability of lights and electrical outlets. And then I wrote up a whole report for the bride and groom. Man - if I thought I could actually make a living doing it, I might just toss this whole Engineering career thing out the window and opt, instead, to be a wedding planner. Trouble is, I'm sure every other starry eyed little girl living her life as a cleverly disguised adult would do the exact same thing (either that or own a flower shop - my other secret fantasy job.) Which is why I doubt I could ever make a living doing it. *Sigh* Sure would be fun though.







*Can you believe I've been married for OVER a year!!!!! Kyle and I celebrated 1 year of absolute bliss on Sunday, Sept 27. Eee!

My Last "Off-Friday"

I need to amend my list of things I'll miss about my current job... in addition to my great co-workers (who p.s. took me out for a lovely lunch today and made me give a farewell speech (eep! I hate public speaking!!!)) and of course the free feminine products, I'll miss having every other Friday off.

Yep - in exchange for working 9 hours per day (as opposed to 8), we get every other Friday off here at Big & Evil Inc. It's quite nice. Totally worth it to stay an extra hour every day if it means you get a 3 day weekend at least twice a month.

Last Friday was my last "off-Friday". Kyle and I made sure to make good use of the day*. And what a glorious day it was - mostly sunny with a high of 77 F. Yeah November in California!!

First we slept in. Mmmmmmmmm... sleeping in. Then we met up with Kyle's brother, Kelsey, and headed to one of my favorite restaurant's in Cole Valley (a neighborhood in SF) for a leisurely outdoor brunch. Mmmmmmmmm... leisurely outdoor brunch. Then we went to Golden Gate Park to visit the new California Academy of Sciences. Mmmmmmmmm... Sciences. It was AWESOME. As the advertisement goes, It's an aquarium, a planetarium, a natural history museum, and a 4-story rainforest... all under one living roof! And indeed it was! The aquarium was much bigger than I thought it would be, and they managed to integrate it with the rest of the building VERY well... it just sort of meandered though the other exhibits, so pretty much wherever you were, part of the aquarium was there too. Very cool. We saw a 3-D movie about bugs, took a ride through outer space in the planetarium, touched star fish and abalones, starred at the rather creepy looking albino alligator, and marveled at the truly awesome living roof. (It's covered in native California plants and wildflowers - quite stunning and functional!)


Me and Kyle checking out the Living Roof at the Cal Academy. The bumpy shape helps cool air flow down into the center of the building - keeping AC costs to a minimum.

Once the science museum closed, we wandered over to the de Young Museum for their Friday night happy hour and live band - highly recommended if you're ever in the park on a Friday evening. We sipped pomegranate cocktails and people watched in the outdoor covered patio while the sun disappear behind the trees.

After happy hour, we headed home to re-heat some leftovers for dinner. For the record, I've never really been a fan of leftovers... but Kyle is showing me the error of my ways. :) And you know what - they're not half bad... as long as I don't have to eat the same thing two days in a row. Variety is the spice of life! No?

With our bellies full, we changed into some fancier threads, hopped on BART and headed downtown to meet up with some friends at the Opera House, where we saw The Elixir of Love which is a sweet and, at times, quite silly opera. Yes yes, TWO museums AND an Opera all in one day - am I cultured or what!? :)

After the Opera, we walked to a snazzy bar in Hayes Valley where we chatted over wine and stinky cheese. A perfect end to our day.

So that's it, I guess. Now I'll have to work on Fridays. Ugh. The next time I want to go to the museum, I'll have to fight the weekend crowds, just like everyone else. No more Fridays filled with running errands or lazily lying around the apartment. No more heading up to Tahoe on a Thursday evening - totally avoiding the Friday rush. Sad. I reeeeeeally hope my new job is awesome enough to make up for it...

___
*Note: Kyle and I both work for same Big and Evil Corporation... so we both get every other Friday off... well... at least we USED TO both get every other Friday off... with my new job, I'll have to roll out of bed all my by lonesome while he slumbers away once every other week. Yuck. Those days are gonna suck.

Proof

Sweet! I've got proof that I made the right decision when I chose to leave my current job. This is an email I sent to a some co-workers a few days ago, in which I express my outrage at the latest law flowed down from our evil overlords. I'm becoming increasingly convinced that these rules and regulations are designed to maximize futility and minimize employee morale. Enjoy.

From: me
To: my co-workers
Sent: Friday, November 7, 2008 5:48:04 PM
Subject: I'll miss this place

Just in case there was any doubt in my mind that I made the right decision when I chose to leave [Big&Evil Inc.], today I received indisputable proof: I got reprimanded for using scissors. Apparently there is a new [B&E Law] out that scissors are no longer allowed – because they’re sharp, and people can cut themselves.

I kid you not.

Forget that kindergarteners use scissors all the time, [Big & Evil] employees apparently can’t be trusted to use them properly.

Reprimander: I’m sorry, sharps aren’t allowed anymore.
Me: Oh, these are just scissors. Safety scissors, no less. They barely cut paper.
Reprimader: Sorry, [B&E law] states that scissors are no longer allowed.
Me: But I have to cut this.
Reprimander: You’ll have to find another way.
Me: Another way to cut something? But that’s what scissors are for!
Reprimander: Sorry, we’ve had a lot of injuries with scissors. People cut themselves.
Me: Well maybe you should hire smarter people.

When I pressed him on how exactly he plans BUILD HARDWARE without ever using a sharp tool, he finally conceded that, ON OCCASION a sharp tool may be necessary, and if that was the case a detailed procedure would have to be written – complete with appropriate caution statements and warnings – stating exactly how the tool should be used. (“Insert thumb and middle finger into the loops on the base of the scissors; gently move thumb away from middle finger thus causing the blades of the scissors to become exposed. WARNING SCISSOR BLADES MAY BE SHARP!!!!!” ???)

Just kill me.

I expect pens to be outlawed next (you could stab your eye out!) Then we won’t be allowed to leave our cubicles (lest someone trip and fall while walking!) And don’t get me started on push-pins!!

In fact, if it wasn’t for this company’s LOVE AFFAIR with paper, I could definitely see them pulling the plug on that too (can you imagine the number of paper cuts people must get every year? Yikes!)

I’m a bit tempted to demand that we all be able to work from home everyday, as I’m sure just getting out of bed greatly increases your chance of injuring yourself, but instead I think I’ll just walk away from this madness. Slowly. Looking both ways before I cross the street, of course.

-Courtney

It's nice when life makes the decision easy for you, no?

Things I'll Miss

There are several things I'll miss about my current job:

• My co-workers, many of whom have become dear friends. I have been blessed to work with some amazingly brilliant people.


• The security of my job. The chances of my current company going under, even in this crummy economy, are about as slim as they get. At my new job, I think it's entirely possible that I'll show up to work one day and the front door will be locked and all of the desks and computers will have been hauled away by some repo company. This scares the crap out of me.
  
• The parking lot. I know this seems REALLY weird, but my current company does a really nice job with their landscaping. When I walk out to my car at the end of the day, I'm greeted by mature trees and fresh cut grass. It almost always smells nice. Often times there's a large V of geese or a solitary hawk flying over head. And, on most nights, I run into a familiar face on my way out and we exchange pleasantries, each wishing the other safe drive home or a nice weekend. It's a really nice way to end the day.
  
• The tampons. Also weird, I know, but my company provides FREE TAMPONS in all of the bathrooms. It's really nice to know that I never have to remember to bring my own. (Note: if free feminine products ever make it into YOUR list of the things you'll miss most about your job... it's time to find a new job.)
  
• The company-matched 401K. My new company promises to give me zillions of stock options, but they don't have a 401K plan set up. Booo. Even when the market is crummy, and my 401K bleeds like it's had a limb cut off, I still like having it. I realize it's a long term investment and ups and downs are to be expected. Over the long term, it's VERY likely that I'll make slow and (mostly) steady growth. Plus, company-match = FREE MONEY! (If anyone out there isn't taking advantage of a company-matched 401K plan remind me to slap you silly the next time I see you.) With stock options... well, let's just say the odds are much scarier. The potentially very big upside comes with a potentially very big downside.
  
• Telling people what I do and then having them ask, all starry-eyed, if I'm a rocket scientist. (I'm not, by the way, but I do work in the aerospace industry, which apparently means I'm a rocket scientist in countless people's eyes. Psssssst - I'll let you all in on a little secret: Putting functional things into space requires a lot more than just a rocket.)

Anyway, it's nice. It's safe. It's easy. And it has some decent curb appeal.

There are, however, things I won't miss:

• The commute. Driving 86 miles a day, in bumper to bumper traffic, will not be missed. Even if it does afford me 2 - 3 hours of prime NPR listening time (I LUVS me some Kai Ryssdal on the drive home!), I simply cannot wait to not have spend so much of my life in my car. Not to mention the sheer (ridiculous) volume of gas I go through (Approx. 860 gallons per year JUST driving to and from work!!) It makes me ill to consider both my impact on the planet and my wallet. Yuck.
  
• My cubicle. When I first started, my cubicle was like my own little office. I loved it. I set it up just so, with all my little pictures and trinkets in their place, and my drawers stocked with fresh office supplies. My books on their shelves and my papers filed neatly away. But it didn't last. Over the years they moved us into smaller and smaller cubicles. They took away our book shelves. Encouraged us not to display so many trinkets. Papers mounted and I lost track of what should be filed and what should be thrown away. I stopped unpacking my boxes in between moves, stopped painstakingly routing all my cords after each computer upgrade. My cube is now a sad, cluttered, dingy little space. I just sort of stopped caring about it. It is an uninspiring atmosphere in which to work at best. I can't wait to work someplace where I'll have windows instead of padded walls.
• The bureaucracy. In my opinion , we have far too many people doing far too little actual work at this company. Everyday, it seems, we're tossed new hoops to jump through, new forms to fill out, a new online system (guaranteed to improved productivity!) to weigh us down. It's as if the people writing the rules and the people forced to follow them live on two entirely different planets. I see the wheels of progress grind schreechingly to a halt over and over again as employees are saddled with ever more ridiculous rules and regulations that do little more than break their spirits and cost the company money. It's enough to make me scream on a regular basis. (On the upside, it does make Dilbert a whole lot funnier... b/c I TOTALLY relate to almost every single strip.)
  
• The speed. Or shall I say, the lack there of. Do you have ANY idea how long it takes a giant, bureaucracy laden corporation to put something into space? It takes roughly forever. (Give or take a decade.) I have been working on the same design project for 6 years now. SIX YEARS to come up with a design, refine it, get it approved, build it, test it, document the results, and deliver it. It will be about 6-million more years before they integrate it onto the satellite and test it again. And then another 3 eternities before they finally launch the thing into space. Do you have any idea how boring it is to stare at the same project for 6 years? And how sucky it is to know that by the time the thing ACTUALLY gets used it will be so out of date that people will laugh at it? At my new company, things get designed and built in about 6 months.
  
• Feeling like a tiny tiny cog in a giant GIANT machine. On the one hand, it's easy to blend in, to not have to work that hard, to "coast", if you will. If you and 100,000 other people are pushing the same giant block forward, does it REALLY matter if you push with all your might or if you just sort of go through the motions? Not really. The block slowly moves forward, pretty much with or without you. On the other hand, it's bit depressing, don't you think? I don't feel like I can have much impact here. No matter how hard I work, my salary probably won't change much (sure, I might get a 2.6% raise instead of a 2.4% raise - woo-hoo!), my department probably won't win any new business, my company as a whole probably won't be any more profitable, and I probably won't change the world. Maybe it's a blessing to not have the fate of your company (and the world!?) resting on your shoulders - but, at least once in my life, I'd like to know what it feels like to at least have the potential to make a real impact.

Breaking News

*beep beep beep*

We interrupt these wedding related blog posts to bring you breaking news...

(And before anyone asks - No, I'm not pregnant. Sheesh, you get married and suddenly everyone thinks you're going to announce pregnancy anytime you clear your throat.)

Anyway, I had originally intended to get through all the wedding and honeymoon related blogging before I moved on to other topics, but seeing as how I've been married for forty some odd days now and STILL haven't finished my wedding re-cap and haven't even BEGUN to work on my honeymoon post, I think I'm gonna have break up the natural flow of things and post about some exciting news that I just can't keep in anymore.

I got a new job!!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

A new job IN San Francisco!!! A mere three miles from my house!!!!!!! (For those who don't know, I currently commute 43 miles EACH WAY every single day. It's awful)

The new job is with a start up. I don't know a ton of detail yet other than I'll be working as a mechanical engineer on light weight, highly efficient, portable power systems - mostly batteries and fuel cells. There are about a dozen people at the company. It's been around for 3 or 4 years*. I'm the only female engineer (typical) and, except for the CEO and the guy I'll be reporting to, I'm the oldest person at the company (WEIRD!!!) I am so nervous/excited/curious about the new job and my brain cannot wait to wrap itself around a whole new technology. It feels like the first day of school is approaching. I'm down right giddy. :D

*Yes, I realize that 4 years seems like a long time to be considered a "start-up"... but the technology involved has taken some time to get off the ground. They are launching their first product next year. To date, I believe most of their funding has come from angel investors. I'm not sure when exactly you go from being a start-up to just being a small company (maybe when you start making money?)... but I'm sure that's one of the zillion things I'll learn as I embark on this journey.

It's The Little Things

I wonder if he noticed the look of joy on face, the way my eyes brightened or the sudden breathlessness in my voice. I wonder if he could see the glee.

He told me he was leaving. My heart skipped. Would be taking off this afternoon. I smiled. Would be gone till next Wednesday. It was all I could do to keep from jumping up and shouting "Woo-Hoo!"

A whole week without my tyrant of a boss calling me, on speaker phone, from his desk 12 feet away. A whole week without, "Well, that's not I how *I* would have done it" or "Just make it happen, ok?" A whole week where I don't have to hide in my cube every time I hear his thunderous footsteps approaching, praying that he's not coming for me.

A whole week! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Mental note: it may be time for a new job.

DC

Hi hi! I'm back from Bethesda! Oh, didn't I mention it? I was in Bethesda last week for work... leadership development, to be specific. Apparently someone thinks I should be a leader. Cool. Anyway, it was a pretty awesome week:

Sunday - Arrive at Dulles International Airport, take a $60 cab ride (thank goodness work is footing the bill!!!) to my hotel in Silver Spring, eat sushi all by my lonesome. (Feel rather depressed to be traveling/eating alone.)

Monday - Wake up at 6 am (East Coast Time... aka 3 am West Coast Time!!!) so I can be on the shuttle to my class by 7. Goodness gracious it was EARLY! Get to class, am bummed that I seem to have ended up in a"loser" class. After class meet my friend Anna for dinner and drinks. (Fun!!!)

Tuesday - Roll out of bed at 6 am cursing Eastern Standard Time. Have an awesome day at class. Decide a FEW of my classmates aren't totally lame. Go out for Thai food with a dozen or so people from my class and then go back to my hotel room to DO MY TAXES!!!! (Holy crap. I can't believe I waited till 9:30pm on April 15 to do my freakin taxes! SO unlike me!)

Wednesday - Would it kill them to start the class an hour later??? 6 am is a terrible time to have to wake up when you're jet-lagged! Another great day of training. After class we have a big dinner back at the hotel for the whole group - free beer and wine! We all take advantage. And after that, several of us go out for more beers at a local Irish bar. I decide I LOOOOOVE my classmates. "You're the best, man!" "No, YOU'RE the best!" Free beer + more beer + jet-jag = drunk Courtney. D'oh. And then, to top it all off, I may have gone to bed in all of my clothes... scarf, jacket, everything. Gah. You can't take me anywhere.

Thursday - Wake up (spinning) at 5:15 am in all of my clothes. Think to self, "Awesome!". Change into jammies and sleep for additional 45 minutes. Whimper when alarm goes off at 6 am. Decide to wear outfit that requires no ironing, sleep for 10 more minutes. Make it to shuttle by 7 am with coffee in hand and sunglasses glued to my face. Am greeted by several understanding (and equally hungover looking) faces. My classmates rule. Spend morning fighting the urge to hurl. Feel much better after large bowl of soup at lunch. After class, all of my new friends take off for the airport. :( Very anti-climactic. "Bye new friends!!" I wave to them all as I get on the shuttle back to the hotel with a few other stragglers. Get to room and collapse on bed. Order room service. Watch Men in Black. Get good night's sleep

Friday - Wake up at the far more sane hour of 9:30 am. Pack stuff. Check out of hotel. Best friend, Sara, and her boyfriend, Sean, pick me up and we head to Baltimore for the day! See Harbor, shop, get nails done, go to happy hour, go to Orioles game, go out in Baltimore. Fun fun fun!


Sara and me at the game

Saturday Day - Touristy stuff: see monuments, declaration of independence, hope diamond, etc.











Saturday Night - Go to Passover dinner with Sean's family and then out in DC. Order only wine and drinks made with Kettle One vodak (which is made from potatoes) in an attempt to keep kosher for Passover. Meet up with my friend, Liz (who, incidently, is also Kyle's ex, Liz... but I like her, a lot, and so I've decided to keep her, and change her name from "Kyle's ex" to "my friend".)

Sunday - Decide I'm not cut out for the whole kosher for Passover thing... get panini for breakfast. (I'm a bad fake jew.) Make it to airport on time. (Yay!) Fly home. Am greeted by my awesome, sexy, amazing future husband at baggage claim.

Happy Courtney.

Monday - back to "real" work... Le sigh.

Tenacious

I received the following email today from an old co-worker:

Courtney -

I was cleaning out my email and found a “PWBA* Team” subject email. The “To” line had the following names:

John A...
Joe D...
Margie D...
Courtney K...
A.J. M...
Jeff S...
Kurien T...
Dustan W...

You seem to have a secret when it comes to PWBA longevity. Hope all is well, enjoy the Dilbert!

-Dustan

(Attached to the email was a dilbert cartoon about people with time making decisions while the people with talent were busy fixing the problems made by the people who have time. Very appropriate for anyone who works for a giant company.)

Not a single person on Dustan's list, save yours truly, still works on the PWBA project. Sigh.

Five years. I've spent five years working on the same damn project. Blink. Whoosh. Five Years. Same.Damn.Project. I've had 3 different managers, at least 5 different product team leads, and dozens of different teammates in that time. I am the ONLY constant. I can't decide if this makes me feel awesome - like YEAH! I'm the only one who can't be replaced. HA! Or if it makes me feel like a total sucker who keeps pluggin away at the same thing day in and day out, too stupid/lazy/loyal/content to find greener pastures.

I like my job. I really do. I'm doing exactly what I decided at 14 I would do when I grew up. My brain is engaged, I like my co-workers, I'm challenged, they pay me decently, I have good benefits, I pick my own hours (granted, sometimes I have pick 20 of them a day, but darn it, I get to pick which 20 they'll be - ha!), and I respect my boss. (Well, I respect one of my bosses, I have two now, and the new guy's total turd, but I like to think that, like all the people I've worked with, he'll be gone soon.) Still. This is the only project I've ever worked on. And this is the only "real" job I've ever had. What if it's way better someplace else? What if the grass really is greener? Am I fighting the good fight or am I just afraid to leave my comfort zone?

Ugh. I'm feeling way too contemplative for 3:30 on a Friday.

----
*We loves us some acronyms in my business. In fact, the signature at the bottom of my work emails reads as follows:

Courtney K...
AEHE PWBA CPE
PTC&M PC

I kid you not.

Note: exactly three letters were changed in the above collection of acronyms so as not be google-able... I don't really work on the PWBA... although I think I could *totally* rock the Professional Women's Bowling Association. Don't you?

Blind Hatred Is About Right

A note from a co-worker, taped to my cube wall today:



The 90 plus hours I put in this week have been some of the most painful I have ever experienced in my professional life.

It'll all be over Tuesday. Please God, help me make it to Tuesday.

Moving Day

"I no doubt believe that I deserve my enemies... but I cannot believe that I deserve my friends."

Today, while I engaged my office in a fight to the death for my soul, my unbelievably amazing friends moved my whole apartment. My WHOLE apartment! Without me even being there!! God bless Kyle for setting the entire thing up. And Lucia and Alina for randomly showing up at my house last night to help me pack. And everyone else who disassembled, and lifted, and carried, and packed, and drove, and unpacked, and refused to let a little thing like physics stop them from getting my oversized couches through my undersized doors and hallways. I cannot believe how lucky I am to have friends like this in my life. I am astonished and grateful.

Warm fuzzies.

Energy!

I'm working the graveyard shift at work again... and sometimes the day shift too... 21 hours straight on Monday... kill me. So basically, I've got nothing left to give... except this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRuNxHqwazs&NR=1

Enjoy!

That's What Friends Are For

I was rushed this morning, and just sorta threw the shirt on haphazardly. After a quick glance in the mirror - to make sure I had remembered pants - I was out the door.

For the record, this is not the best way to dress oneself. Dressing should consist of more than a cursory check for pants. It should, at the very least, include something that goes roughly like this: Shirt not see through? Check.

Alas... woulda, coulda, shoulda.

Hangs head in shame and then admits: I wore a see through shirt to work today.

Luckily, I have work friends who love me. And who point this sorta thing out to me. And who don't laugh hysterically at me (at least not out loud) as I remedy the situation by lining my shirt with masking tape so as to make it bit more "business casual" and a bit less "hey, let's have casual sex right here on my desk."


Note the parts of the shirt that are sorta masking tape colored - behind the cute little black flowers... yeah, those were previously totally see-through. Awesome.

On the upside, I think the masking tape looks totally cute!

Ice Cream

Some say "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

I say, "When life gives you a spare 50-gallon tank of Liquid Nitrogen, make ice cream."


Note my "safety goggles" - Nine West is OSHA certified, right?


We made quite a mess


Peaches and cream - yum!

Help

I’ve discovered a new level of Hell. Please save me…

We’re running that test at work again… remember? The one that requires me to be here ‘round the clock for a week straight. The one that makes me loopy, and exhausted, and disgruntled. Uggggggh. I hate this test. On the upside I got the day shift this round. On the downside, the day shift starts at 6 am (way too early!) and usually runs long. Boo.

The test basically requires me to sit in a cleanroom for 10-12 hours straight and stare at a fancy oven/freezer (called a “thermal chamber”) while the stuff inside the chamber goes hot and then cold and then hot again and then cold again. Basically, I have to monitor the temperature and make sure nothing goes horribly wrong. Fun. The going hot part is accomplished with heat lamps inside the chamber. The going cold part is accomplished with Liquid Nitrogen (which, by the way is fun to make ice cream with – you should try it!)

According the Safety People (dun dun Dun), Liquid Nitrogen is DAN.GER.OUS. So I have to wear a giant face shield and huge rubber gloves whenever I go near one of the Nitrogen tanks. P.s. I look GOOD in rubber gloves and a face shield. AND I need a buddy with me AT ALL TIMES. ALL TIMES. Even if I’m 30 feet from a tank of Nitrogen just farting around on the computer. Even if I’m wearing an oxygen sensor, and my gloves, AND my face shield. I still need a buddy. Why? I don’t really know. In case I pass out, I guess. Then, you know, my buddy could, like, drag me to safety or something. Yay.

So ANYway… my buddy this morning was some random guy who I’d only met once or twice. Hello new buddy, I say to him, your job, for the next 10 hours, is to watch me work. Oh and please drag me to safety if I pass out. M’kay?

Most buddies bring a book, because watching me watch a fancy oven/freezer is just not that entertaining.

Well, this buddy was different. He saw our special time together as the PERFECT opportunity to get me to buy into his AWESOME pyramid scheme, which, by the way, is going to turn him into a millionaire in just 2 short years. And did I know, by the way, that 90 % of the millionaires in the US today earned their millions with similar pyramid schemes. (To which I felt like responding Did YOU know that 78.276% of all statistics are made up on the spot?) AND, he continued, if I was lucky enough to get in on it early I might also enjoy millions of dollars of income in just 2 short years with little to no effort on my part.

When I asked how he intended to make his millions he said, “I’m recruiting thousands of people to be distributors beneath me. And then they'll all recruit thousands of people to be beneath them. And EVERYONE will get rich”

“Oh really?” I asked, “How many of these distributors do you have so far?”

“29.”

“Huh. Only 971 to go. And what exactly is your product?”

"Ecrap* (which, he informed me, means Ethics in Greek, so the company MUST be reputable) FR.

“Ecrap*FR?”

“Yes! Ecrap*FR!! (enter sales pitch) It’s a mineral oil, with esters, that you put in your car’s gas and oil tanks that will make your car run smoother, get better gas mileage, AND emit fewer toxins into the environment.”

“Hmmmm.”

“The environmental part is really the best part. You know, global warming and all that stuff.”

“Uh-huh”

“And you’ll save so much money on gas that the product pays for itself! You can basically save the planet and it doesn’t cost you a thing.”

“Interesting.”

“You know, if you become a distributor – you too could enjoy a lifetime of financial freedom! You’ll be saving the planet and becoming wealthy beyond your wildest dreams all at the same time.”

“I’m good. But thanks anyway.”

This went on for over an hour.

Really? THIS is my buddy? Mr. Why Don’t You Join My Pyramid Scam? I think I’d rather just pass out and die from the Nitrogen. And the worst part? I couldn’t leave!! I HAVE to monitor the test at all times. And he has to monitor me at all times. So I was just STUCK with him.

I pretended to surf the internet in an effort to make him stop talking to me, but instead he hovered over my shoulder and made me look up the company website, where he showed me exactly where I could sign up, pay a simple one time fee of $49.99, and then start raking in the dough. Up to $25,000 per week! Wheee!!!

Please go away. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease at least stand more than 6 inches from me. And PLEASE stop talking to me about your STUPID pyramid scheme!!!!!!!!!

In a final act of desperation I feigned freezingness. (Totally a word). It was not cold in the lab, but I pretended I was cold, and I got a heater… and then I turned the heater on full blast… and then I aimed it straight at me (and therefore straight at Mr. Hovering Right Above Me.)

Ha HA! Success.

Hot and sweaty, and clearly getting nowhere, he finally gave up and went back to his own work area.

Ugh. As if my job wasn't horrible enough already.

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*Name changed so I don't advertise for these slimey people.

Because Someday... BAM... I'll Be Old And Grey And Wanting To Retire

Speaking of being so grown-upy... Check me out! I just opened a my very own Roth IRA. Oh ya, baby, I plan to enjoy my retirement. (Provided I survive the next 30 to 40 years working for the Man.)

I could only manage to put $300 in it (still chipping away at my credit card debt) but I think it's a very nice start and I must say that it feels AMAZING to know that I'm planning for my future.

Why all the gun-ho energy to get my finances in order? I just finished reading Suze Orman's book Young, Fabulous, and Broke. (p.s. I DEVOURED this book and simply cannot recommend it enough if you are, like me, struggling to make sense of IRAs and 401(k)s and saving accounts and student loan debt and credit card debt and FICO scores and home buying and whatnot all while trying to makes ends meet. It's a really easy read, chalk full of good info, and quite empowering! I actually found myself talking about no-load index funds this morning with a co-worker and I TOTALLY knew what I was talking about it! WOW!)

Fingers crossed for me that I don't totally blow this whole investing thing. I simply CANNOT be 80 years old still sitting in this cube farm.

Shame

It is such a shame that Tahoe is SO UGLY.



Right?
;)

I told work to shove it last Thursday and headed North-East to the pristine glorious-ness that is Lake Tahoe for the weekend to visit with Kyle's family. It took a full day, but by Friday night I had completely stopped talking about my tiny cubicle and the idiots I work for. Ahhhhh. Peace.

We spent Friday at Kirkwood and Saturday at Squaw and both days were fantastical!! To anyone who has ever been snowboarding with me and seen, first hand, just how terrible I am... I have BIG NEWS! I, Courtney A. K., went off jumps. In a terrain park. On purpose. Screaming like a banshee the whole way, of course, but I *did* it!!!! It was EXHILARATING!! I even landed the third one.

The snow was wet and slushy, but it was 60 degrees out and I boarded most of the day in a t-shirt, so I can't really complain. I'll take wet slushy snow over the splotchy blue carpet in my office ANY day of the week.

At night, we played cards, cooked dinner, sat in the hot tub, and drank beers. It was me, Kyle, Kyle's parents, Kyle's little brother, and our friend Ben (who met us up there randomly) and it was SOOOO nice. Did I mention that I was 200 miles away from my desk and out of cell phone range!?!?! SO NICE!!!

Here are some pics from our day at Squaw...






Bliss, thy name is Spring skiing in Lake Tahoe.

On Squashing Whatever Spirit Remains

First a bit of background info: They ("they" being the supreme evil entity that I currently work for) just remodeled our cubicles. And by "remodeled" I mean they tore down our drab brown, 10' x 10' life sucking boxes, and replaced them with bright shiny blue, 8' x 8' life sucking boxes. Smaller cubes = More slaves per building. The new cubes also force the occupant to sit with their back (and therefore computer screen) facing the door. (Ummm, hello worst feng shui ever!) All the better to keep tabs on you my dear.

I got an email this morning that actually made me shudder...

"This note is written to inform you of the requirements imposed on the newly remodeled areas. This includes all areas that have the new style cubicles. No bookcases or other non standard furniture will be allowed. This includes second chairs. For those personnel who have relocated to the newly constructed cubicles, you will be given two drawers of additional storage in the 4-drawer cabinets. Drawers will be assigned to you.

Evil Boss #1*, Evil Boss #2* and I have a very short period of time to purge the building of excess data and excess NFI hardware**. This will be accomplished. Everyone will have to live within their storage allotment. The sooner you understand and comply the easier it will be for all of us. Please purge as soon as you can. Its better you do it than we do it.

Thank you for your cooperation,
Management***"


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*Name changed to protect the evil.
** NFI Hardware is all the neat "extra" work parts/thingamajigs that we're not using anymore. They're either spare parts we don't need , or a development/prototype part, or a part that got damaged at some point. Anyway, being an engineer, I find actual hardware to be REALLY cool. You design stuff on the computer all day and it's neat to see it and touch it and play with it in real life. It helps you learn, and helps you explain things to others. There's no substitute for a good show and tell session with actual hardware. Once the company decides that they're not going to use a part for anything "official" anymore, the part becomes "NFI". The engineers tend to keep these NFI parts at their desks to play with.... well, at least we used to... I guess now we'll have to "purge" ???
*** Name NOT changed. The guy actually signed the email "Management"... like some scary, mysterious, name-less, face-less being. I swear I'm working in a Dilbert cartoon.

P.S. Happy St. Patty's everyone!!

On The 4pm to 6am Shift

(WARNING: The following is a very bitter post, written on 4 hours of sleep, while suffering from a headache. Anyone seeking a cheery, up-beat blog entry should go seek someplace else. They should also kiss my butt.)

I now understand why they call it the Graveyard shift - it makes me want to kill myself.

I don't remember signing up for this crap at 14 when I capriciously thought "Gee, I think I want to be an Engineer when I grow up." I paid my all-nighter dues in school. And I specifically didn't go the crazy, work for a start-up, live on coffee and Ramen for a few years, and then pray the start-up goes public and make major big bucks route. No, I chose the cush, 9-5, no risk but no real reward, corporate route. I've got the no reward part down... but where's my cush??? Where's my 9-5??? The 72 hours I put in last week certainly didn't feel like your typical, run-of-the-mill, corporate job. It felt like I was being overworked and underpaid with no potential benefit waiting for me at the end. And now I have the pleasure of feeling that way from 4pm to 6am. Super. I hate to sound like a What's-in-it-for-me-er... but uh, WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME!?!? We don't get bonuses or awards. And my department is TERRIBLE about promoting people. Heck, our raises are barely 3%. Why am I killing myself?

UGH! I'm just so grrrr right now. It's probably the switch from human to nocturnal slave working for the man. I'm not taking well to it. Sleeping during the day and being awake all night is looooooooonely, and energy sapping, and it's leaving unsightly bags under my eyes. So. Not. A. Fan.

And Just Like That

Today was miserable.
This whole week has been miserable.
12 - 14 hours a day... EVERYDAY... even Sunday!!!
It can't go on like this.
Work is Hell.
It's been Hell for months.

I spent today weary and disillusioned. Trapped, from 6 am on, in a clean room kept at 70% humidity. Wearing a sweaty clean room coat and fugly clean room bouffant on my head. Fighting with software, and hardware, and all sorts of big company red tape garbage. It was ugly.

At 4:30 pm I looked at my watch. CRAP! I actually forgot to do my homework and go to school today. Just plum forgot. Because I have no idea what day it is anymore. Because everyday is a work day. Because everything sucks.

I'm so tired.

As I was driving to school (late... to meet my lab partner and attempt to explain how it was that I FORGOT to do and turn in my half of the homework assignment) feeling quite exhausted and quite pitiful in my sorry little state, I got a phone call.

It's gonna be a boy. My brother is having a little boy!

Instantly! The cloud is gone and I'm (tired, yes, but also) refreshed and feeling blessed. Suddenly it's squeals and baby names and visions of little boy toys. It's a bouquet of blue flowers sent next day delivery. It's triumphant shouts of "I *knew* it was boy! The magic necklace is never wrong!!" It's the thought of our family name being carried on for another generation. It's the best day ever. Just like that.

:)

Re-Org

I’ve been at my current job for four years. I’ve have sat in the same cubicle and worked on the same project the entire time. *I* have been very constant. My company? Not so much. In the last four years we have had three different names. (We were Big Evil – Garbage and Crap… and then Big Evil – Crap and Strategic Garbage… and now Big Evil – Crap Systems Company.) I’ve had four different directors, six different team-leads, and three different ID-badges. It’s enough to make your head spin. In my next life I’m going to invest in an org-chart printing company…

We had another re-org yesterday… and this time they really shook things up in my world. They re-orged my boss. The boss I’ve had for the last four years. The man who hired me into the group. A person that I truly respect. Someone who’s opinion I value. Someone I look to for technical guidance and for help in making tough decisions. I’ll admit the guy is a slave driver and he’s not especially good at showing his appreciation for hard work (hello, no decent raise in four years!), but he’s also the kind of boss who you *know* will have your back when and if things get ugly. He believes in his people and will go to bat for them no questions asked. He steps up to plate and never ever feeds his employees to the sharks in the adminisphere. He’s speaks with authority, not just because he’s the boss but because he’s brilliant. He’s been with our company for 23 years and he really knows his stuff. He asks the tough questions and pushes people to perform to their highest capability. He’s the kind of boss that, at the end of the day, you are glad is on your team. And now he’s gone. Name tag down. Office cleaned out. Gone. And I’m sad.

And the worst part? He got a demotion. :( Seems my project isn’t the only one in a catastrophic downward spiral… and he’s in charge so he’s taking the rap. Not that it’s really his fault – due to circumstances beyond his control we’re understaffed and crippled by big company bureaucracy and red tape. He just does the best he can with what he has.

Ugh.