Pool!!!!

Kyle has been dying to "torpedo" Barrett pretty much since the day he was born. (I think he's looking for some sort of cosmic revenge or something for his parents "torpedo-ing" HIM when he was just a wee little baby.) What is torpedo-ing you ask? Well, it's when one parent takes the baby in the pool, yells "Torpedo!!!", dunks the child, and then fires him at the other parent like an underwater torpedo. I have to be honest... this sounds like borderline child abuse to me. But Kyle's parents are generally great people, and Kyle doesn't seem to have suffered much for all his being torpedoed, so I guess it's ok. I guess.

A friend of ours told us about a really nice, indoor pool not far from our house, so we decided to check it out today. We schlepped ourselves and B and all our crap over to the pool, parked, walked (in the rain) for 2 1/2 blocks, and then paid our $5 to enter the pool. It was supposed to be $11, but they only took cash, and they didn't have any change, so they let us in for $5. ($11 seemed a bit steep to me.... I was sorta glad we only had 5 singles on us) Anyway, we got B all dressed up in his swim diaper (which was just one of his regular pocket diapers without the insert - p.s. have I mentioned we use cloth diapers?? Remind me to write a post about them later. They rule!) ANYway - B got all swim-diapered up, and Kyle and I donned our bathing suits (and I added a tank top, because "the girls" are still WAY TOO big to be flaunted about in pulic (thankyouverymuch breastfeeding... ) and my belly is just plain yuck. So we got all ready and then we went out to the pool and we had SUCH high hopes of traumatizing, errrr, I mean torpedoing our dear son... and we got in the water. And... well. It was darn cold. :\ Too cold, really. B was NOT a fan. Cold water, lots of other (older) kids splashing about, people WHOOSHING into the pool on the waterslide. (p.s. I can't believe they have a waterslide!) Frankly, it was all a bit too much for him. He lasted about 2 minutes and then started crying. :( I actually didn't even realy get in the water. (Was too busy snapping pics.) We decided that maybe we had traumatized the B-man enough for one day, so we got out and got dressed again, and schlepped back home. Oh well. Torpedoing will have to wait.

When we got home we gave B a nice warm bath. He kicked and splashed and seemed to appreciate it a little bit extra. So there's that. :)


Ready to swim! (Good gracious, look at those chunky legs!!! Gah!)


"Nevermind! Get me out of here!!"


"Uhhhh, you're not going to send me down that slide, are you???"

My Last "Off-Friday"

I need to amend my list of things I'll miss about my current job... in addition to my great co-workers (who p.s. took me out for a lovely lunch today and made me give a farewell speech (eep! I hate public speaking!!!)) and of course the free feminine products, I'll miss having every other Friday off.

Yep - in exchange for working 9 hours per day (as opposed to 8), we get every other Friday off here at Big & Evil Inc. It's quite nice. Totally worth it to stay an extra hour every day if it means you get a 3 day weekend at least twice a month.

Last Friday was my last "off-Friday". Kyle and I made sure to make good use of the day*. And what a glorious day it was - mostly sunny with a high of 77 F. Yeah November in California!!

First we slept in. Mmmmmmmmm... sleeping in. Then we met up with Kyle's brother, Kelsey, and headed to one of my favorite restaurant's in Cole Valley (a neighborhood in SF) for a leisurely outdoor brunch. Mmmmmmmmm... leisurely outdoor brunch. Then we went to Golden Gate Park to visit the new California Academy of Sciences. Mmmmmmmmm... Sciences. It was AWESOME. As the advertisement goes, It's an aquarium, a planetarium, a natural history museum, and a 4-story rainforest... all under one living roof! And indeed it was! The aquarium was much bigger than I thought it would be, and they managed to integrate it with the rest of the building VERY well... it just sort of meandered though the other exhibits, so pretty much wherever you were, part of the aquarium was there too. Very cool. We saw a 3-D movie about bugs, took a ride through outer space in the planetarium, touched star fish and abalones, starred at the rather creepy looking albino alligator, and marveled at the truly awesome living roof. (It's covered in native California plants and wildflowers - quite stunning and functional!)


Me and Kyle checking out the Living Roof at the Cal Academy. The bumpy shape helps cool air flow down into the center of the building - keeping AC costs to a minimum.

Once the science museum closed, we wandered over to the de Young Museum for their Friday night happy hour and live band - highly recommended if you're ever in the park on a Friday evening. We sipped pomegranate cocktails and people watched in the outdoor covered patio while the sun disappear behind the trees.

After happy hour, we headed home to re-heat some leftovers for dinner. For the record, I've never really been a fan of leftovers... but Kyle is showing me the error of my ways. :) And you know what - they're not half bad... as long as I don't have to eat the same thing two days in a row. Variety is the spice of life! No?

With our bellies full, we changed into some fancier threads, hopped on BART and headed downtown to meet up with some friends at the Opera House, where we saw The Elixir of Love which is a sweet and, at times, quite silly opera. Yes yes, TWO museums AND an Opera all in one day - am I cultured or what!? :)

After the Opera, we walked to a snazzy bar in Hayes Valley where we chatted over wine and stinky cheese. A perfect end to our day.

So that's it, I guess. Now I'll have to work on Fridays. Ugh. The next time I want to go to the museum, I'll have to fight the weekend crowds, just like everyone else. No more Fridays filled with running errands or lazily lying around the apartment. No more heading up to Tahoe on a Thursday evening - totally avoiding the Friday rush. Sad. I reeeeeeally hope my new job is awesome enough to make up for it...

___
*Note: Kyle and I both work for same Big and Evil Corporation... so we both get every other Friday off... well... at least we USED TO both get every other Friday off... with my new job, I'll have to roll out of bed all my by lonesome while he slumbers away once every other week. Yuck. Those days are gonna suck.

Breaking News

*beep beep beep*

We interrupt these wedding related blog posts to bring you breaking news...

(And before anyone asks - No, I'm not pregnant. Sheesh, you get married and suddenly everyone thinks you're going to announce pregnancy anytime you clear your throat.)

Anyway, I had originally intended to get through all the wedding and honeymoon related blogging before I moved on to other topics, but seeing as how I've been married for forty some odd days now and STILL haven't finished my wedding re-cap and haven't even BEGUN to work on my honeymoon post, I think I'm gonna have break up the natural flow of things and post about some exciting news that I just can't keep in anymore.

I got a new job!!!

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

A new job IN San Francisco!!! A mere three miles from my house!!!!!!! (For those who don't know, I currently commute 43 miles EACH WAY every single day. It's awful)

The new job is with a start up. I don't know a ton of detail yet other than I'll be working as a mechanical engineer on light weight, highly efficient, portable power systems - mostly batteries and fuel cells. There are about a dozen people at the company. It's been around for 3 or 4 years*. I'm the only female engineer (typical) and, except for the CEO and the guy I'll be reporting to, I'm the oldest person at the company (WEIRD!!!) I am so nervous/excited/curious about the new job and my brain cannot wait to wrap itself around a whole new technology. It feels like the first day of school is approaching. I'm down right giddy. :D

*Yes, I realize that 4 years seems like a long time to be considered a "start-up"... but the technology involved has taken some time to get off the ground. They are launching their first product next year. To date, I believe most of their funding has come from angel investors. I'm not sure when exactly you go from being a start-up to just being a small company (maybe when you start making money?)... but I'm sure that's one of the zillion things I'll learn as I embark on this journey.

My Favorite Pictures From The Last Month Part 1 - B2B 2008

I am a TERRIBLE blogger. I have no excuse... except that I've entered the land of a thousand weddings... or ten weddings... but it feels like a thousand.

I don't even have a coherent story to tell... but I do have lots of pictures.

For part 1 of my catch-up I give you: Bay to Breakers 2008 - a weekend of debauchery in pictures.

My friends and I went as Breakfast of Champions, it was a good time.

Here we are building the floats:




Here we are getting serious about some math:


Here I am building my hat... it was a bit big at first, dontcha think?


Here I am demonstrating the adjustable feature on the wheaties box (snazzy no?)


Here we are asking for a hangover:


Really a terrible idea:


Here's the whole gang at the start of the race:


Here's Kyle dressed as the Honeynut Cheerios Bee and me dressed as Cap'n Crunch.


Our beautiful breakfast table (the whole thing flipped up to reveal a cooler filled with beer inside the shopping cart! What do you expect from a bunch of engineers!?)


Our awesome carton of milk:


Here's the sign that we accidentally attached upside down (yeah, we're awesome!)


The back of my shirt:


Jason and Ben dressed like toast:


Pit stop along the race route to play rock-band:


You gotta love the tiny wings on Kyle:


My neck was pretty sore by the end of the day from that hat!


Did I mention there was some drinking...





Here's proof I made it mile 4 (out of 7):


Unfortunately I didn't make it much further... (photos too incriminating for the interweb so I'll just leave it at that.)

Stay tuned for part two... Wedding 1 of 10 for 2008... in Florida!!!

Sneak Peak Inside The Olympic Torch Relay In San Francisco

Hello all! Sorry for my MIA status... lame excuses as always: busy, tired, work, school (darn, I'm done with school, can't use that one anymore...)

ANYway... life's been busy, you know how it goes.

I don't even have time for a real post today... but luckily I have something EVEN BETTER for you all to enjoy!!

My friend Susan wrote an essay a few months ago, and, being the kick-ass writer and all around awesome person that she is, she was selected to be an OLYMPIC TORCH BEARER (!!!) for the flame's ONLY stop in the US. Is that the coolest thing you ever heard or what???

She got to carry the OLYMPIC FLAME!!!!! In her VERY OWN HANDS!!! I am so beyond jealous!

Anyway, I'm not sure if people in the rest of the country heard about all the hoopla that went on in SF the day of the relay, but it was quite intense. A veritable game of cat and mouse with torch bearers, and police officers, and FBI agents, and spectators, and protesters. And a whole media circus to go along with it! San Francisco: never a dull moment.

Susan sent out an email this morning sharing an "inside" perspective from the day... and she said I could pass it on to ALL of the Internet! I have the coolest friends ever.

Enjoy!

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Yesterday was an amazing experience and a day I will never forget. It was such an honor to be part of the Olympic torch relay and represent all the Olympic athletes in the US. I'm was so pleased that all the 80 torchbearers were able to take part and complete their relay leg without a hitch (especially after seeing what happened in London and Paris). There were a lot of emotions felt by all the torchbearers leading up to the relay- excitement, hope, fear for safety, concern that we wouldn't be able to run with the torch , etc. However, while we were on the bus waiting to run with the torch there was nothing but excitement among us and the feeling of being part of something really momentous.

The day started when I arrived at the Hilton in SF. We met at the grand ballroom and were told to bring nothing with us (no cell phones, wallets, etc). After speeches from Mayor Newsom and Peter Uberroff (olympic committee chair), we were given our assignments of where we would be running on the course. They announced that we would be running in pairs holding the torch together (we had 80 runners and they wanted to make sure we all got a chance to run). This was the first Olympic torch relay that was done completely by running in pairs. The Hilton provided us with phones so that we could call friends and family with the location of where we'd be on the course (which didn't really matter since the route would soon change).

We were at the Hilton for a while and got a chance to meet the other torchbearers. There were a lot of interesting people and several former and current Olympians, along with Dean Karnazes, the ultra marathon man and Girls on the Run board member. Security was very tight and we were lead down a back stair case to the street which was completely barricaded with police. We got on a bus and waited there for an hour or more. Eventually Mayor Newsom got on the bus and indicated that the opening ceremony had gone well but there were thousands of people blocking the torch route over to the embarcadero. They wanted to make sure they could secure our safety and give everyone the opportunity to run with the torch. Newsom then indicated that we'd be moving the course and would be running down at the Marina instead of the embarcadero. No one had phones, so we couldn't notify anyone of the route change which was disappointing to realize that our friends/family wouldn't be seeing us. However, the spirits of the torchbearers remained high as we were excited at the opportunity to hold the torch that represented so many US athletes.

The convoy buses took off with numerous police on motor cycles, bikes, etc. Once we reached Van Ness and Pine, they started to drop off the torchbearers onto Van Ness. Initially it was pretty amazing that there were no barricades and ordinary SF citizens were coming up and taking pictures with the torchbearers (the way a torch run should be). As we moved down Van Ness, the crowds started to form and police on motorcycles were seen on each side street, ready to deploy if needed. I was runner # 18 and my partner was Peter Chi (part of the Beijing Organizing Committee for the Olympics). We were let out of the bus on Van Ness at Francisco and ran or rather jogged pretty slowly around the corner on to Bay. It was a pretty surreal moment, holding the torch waiting for ours to be lit by the pair of runners before us. Things started to get a little crazy waiting there for the torch runners, as the crowds were filling into the streets.

We knew it was getting more intense as one of the cops screamed we need back up now, watch our backs. At that moment a muni bus pulled up and 35 cops in riot gear ran out to surround the sidewalks. Shortly thereafter, we were surrounded by running cops, cops on bikes and cops on motorcycles as we ran with the torch. After about two blocks we reached the next runner and lit their torch and then hopped back on the convoy bus. Once on the bus we learned that one of the earlier torch bearers had taken a tibetan flag out of her shirt and started waving it and trying to take the torch from her partner. The police left her on the side of the road and she wasn't allowed back on the bus.

Our line of about 30 car/buses surrounded by police on motorcycles was pretty slow moving down the marina and then up the ramp to the Golden Gate Bridge. Former Mayor Willie Brown and NFl player Herschel Walker ran the last leg to the bridge. After the torch was back on the bus, we took off down 19th avenue to San Francisco Airport where the closing ceremonies had been moved it (originally it was supposed to be at Justin Herman Plaza). I've never seen so many cops in SF and something pulled off so seamlessly for a last minute plan. I felt badly for the people trying to get to the airport as our convoy blocked traffic on the ramp to the airport.

Once on the bus to the airport, the torchbearers started to get very hungry- they didn't feed us all day. We arrived at the airport through a side door, then through airport security (we even had to take our shoes off!). I started talking to the torchbearer next to me which unbeknown to me was Herschel Walker (former nfl player, I was wondering why everyone wanted to take my picture with him, ha!). Mayor Newsom and others spoke at the brief closing ceremonies, we took a group picture and then headed back on the bus (where they had some airline snacks for us).

We arrived back in the Hilton around 6pm, received our own torch and then hopped on the bus to go to the Giants baseball game. We were supposed to be recognized on the field before the game but we got there too late. Marilyn King (former Olympian) threw the first pitch. We were ushered to a private suite at the Giants game, but I still needed to get my brother Paul who was coming to the game as my guest. One of the Giants staff members escorted me out to get Paul (we were stopped numerous times by people that wanted to take pictures of me and the torch- it was pretty amazing how mesmerized people were to see it and how many people wanted to take pictures of me with the torch). There was a lot of disappointment from people that didn't get to see the torch relay earlier in the day. After getting Paul, the Giant's staff member offered us tickets to sit in the Giants' COO Larry Baer's section (the first row next to the Giant's dugout right near home plate). Larry sat with us for a while and graciously let us order whatever we wanted to eat. We watched the rest of the game with Marilyn King and her son and the giants won in the bottom of the 9th.

Paul and I caught the bus home and several people on the bus noticed the torch and wanted to take pictures of me with the torch. It was a pretty funny experience and I made lots of new friends on the bus. One of the first people to notice the torch was a grandfather and his grandson who were visiting SF- it made their day to see it up close since they had missed it earlier in the day waiting along the proposed torch route.

All in all, it was a really unforgettable day. While it was disappointing that friends, family and most of the people in SF along the proposed torch route didn't get to see us running with the torch, the day went off very smoothly and no one was hurt. I was very impressed by the coordination of the last minute route change and that things went along so seamlessly.

The torch is at home if anyone wants to see it, it's really beautiful and nice that they gave us one to keep.

I'm still trying to round up pictures but here are some from the chopper:

http://www.nbc11.com/torchrelay/index.html?dl=headlineclick

click on a day in pictures, chopper 11 pics- sf olympic torch relay

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Conservatory Of Flowers

Nine years in the Bay Area and I have NEVER been to the Conservatory of Flowers. An atrocity that was remedied today. Here are some (fairly sub-par, wish they were artsy-er) pictures I took. (Dear Santa, for Christmas I would like a new camera, some photography lessons, and some talent. kthanxbye.)


Conservatory in Golden Gate Park


Tiny Orchid


Pink Orchid


Water Plants


Bugs caught by a carnivorous plant!!! Ewe!


Me and Kyle in the Jungle - Don't worry, those Michigan shirts will be traded for Cal shirts before the Cal-Washington State game tonight.


Man, California is Ugly

I Hate Soap

Kyle, Kelsey, and I went to the Treasure Island Music Festival this past Sunday and had an absolutely wonderful time. Clear skies, sunshine, great music, yummy food, and an all around fantastic vibe – sweet! And whoever organized the thing had the awesome idea to make all the beer/soda cups out of compostable plastic. Brilliant!! But what good are compostable cups if they all end up in the trash instead of in a nice compost heap? Right? Enter the genius-ness of the concert planners … Prizes!! They had a stand set up where people could drop off their compostable plastic cups in exchange for snazzy goodies. Bring back 1 cup, get a sticker… 5 cups, a button… 10 cups, CDs or $1 gift certificates… 50 cups, a t-shirt… 100 cups, i-pod speakers… 200 cups, a sweet Dakine backpack… 300 cups, some X-Box stuff… 500 cups, 2 all access passes for Noise Pop. Pretty nice prizes, no? So needless to say, most people were pretty excited to bring their cups back. And some people were pretty excited to run around collecting cups from lazy people/litterbugs in order to cash in on the big prizes. And consequently, there were almost NO cups left lying around on ground, littering the concert. Leave it to greed to save the earth!

Well, anyway, Kyle, Kelsey, and I happened to fall into the run-around-collecting-from-lazy-people group of cup returners. By the end of the day we each had like 100 cups. And we carried them around in a big stack, collecting more and more as we made our way over to cup return prize stand. We were gonna get so many CDs and t-shirts! It was gonna be awesome. So awesome, in fact, that we really didn’t mind that we were carrying around other people’s dirty, used, beer cups. Some had cigarette butts in them, some had lipstick on the rim, some were cracked a bit and leaked warm beer onto our hands, most had been on the ground at one point or another and had dirt caked on the bottom. In hindsight, they were pretty nasty, and I can’t believe we touched them without gloves or a 10-foot pole. But at the time, we were blinded by our lust for prizes our desire to save the earth.

Well, we get to the prize stand, with all our zillion cups, and we’re like “Hi! We would like some prizes, please!” And they were like, “Yeah, sorry, umm… we actually stopped giving out prizes like 15 minutes ago. But, hey, you can totally still compost all those cups and help save the planet!” And we were like, “Oh… good… yay.”

Grrr.

So we deposit our cups in the compost bin and, as our prize-high starts to wear off, we look down at our hands in disgust. Must.Wash.Hands. Well, this concert was in a big field, in the middle of Treasure Island, with no real infrastructure – you know, no sinks and stuff. Luckily, they had set up lots of port-a-potties, with little portable hand wash stations. Score! So we make our way over to the port-a-potties and find 3 wash stations. Each of us works up a good lather with the soap, (which is actually more of a muddy soapy paste than a good lather because our hands were so dirty to start with) and then pushes the little foot pump to start the flow of water to rinse our hands off.

Well, that’s when things got interesting.

It seems that everyone’s mommy and daddy did way too good of a job teaching their kids to wash their hands after using the bathroom. Because, darn it, there was NO WATER left in my wash station! Gah!

I pump with my foot again… nothing… I change wash stations… pump… nothing.

And that’s when I look up and find Kyle and Kelsey doing the exact same thing. Frantic pump… nothing… change stations… frantic pump… nothing… change stations.

GAH!

The three of us start fighting our way through the crowds looking for other wash stations that might have water left. We hold our soapy, yucky, hands in front of us like surgeons who’ve just scrubbed in for a terribly unsanitary operation. We try 10 more stations – nothing.

We hear “Look! It happened to them too!!” and turn to see a guy being followed by his girlfriend with her hands turned up in the same “Don’t touch anything!” pose and the panicked look of “What do I do?!” on her face.

“Gah!” she shouts at us.

“Gah!!” we shout back and hold up our hands to show her that we understand her pain.

We carry on, trying wash station after wash station without luck, each of us mentally trying to determine who would end up having to stick their hand in their pocket to pull out money so that we could buy a $4 bottle of water to rinse our hands off with. Ick.

Finally, FINALLY, we find a station, all the way at the other end of the field, with water left. Thank goodness. We rinse and are happy concert goers once again.

Whew.

“Wow. That was terrible.” Kelsey says, “What would we have done if we hadn’t found water? Geez!”

And I thought about for a minute and said, “Yeah, now picture the soap in your eyes instead of on your hands… suddenly the toilet incident makes perfect sense, huh?”

Let There Be Light

So, I got the key to my new apartment this weekend! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Unfortunately, I also started paying rent this weekend... even though I'm not moving in till the 28th AND my landlord is STILL working on getting her crap out of *MY* new place. Mrrrrrr.

But whatever. I officially have my very own home sweet home in the city! I'm a happy girl and life is good.

Except...

Well... see... there's this wall. A wall that I really hate. A wall that I am (sort of) considering tearing (partially) down. Just a little bit of demo work. Nothing to fancy. It's not even structural. Bear with me.

See, the kitchen has two big awesome windows that get tons of natural light! And the living room has two small windows that are blocked by the neighbor's tree. Get the neighbor to cut the tree back, you say? HA! This is San Francisco, people. The neighbor's tree is totally on his own property... it just so happens that my house is like 2 feet from his property line. We're a bit cramped here in the city. Follow? So anyway, the tree stays.



If only there was a way to bring light from the kitchen into the Living Room...

Enter "Operation Hole in Wall".

See, if we were to cut away JUST A LITTLE BIT of the wall that separates the kitchen from the living room, the living room would be SO MUCH BRIGHTER/BETTER!



So I'm gonna get an estimate to see (just hypothetically speaking) how much a job like this would cost.

I haven't quite figured out HOW I'm gonna phrase the "Can I cut a hole in your house?" question to my landlord, but that's a minor detail, right?

I Need More Weekends In My Life

With 5 weddings, 3 graduations, and a baby (no, not mine! My nephew, remember?) on the calendar, the next few months promise to be busy busy busy. So this past weekend Kyle and I laid low.

Fridays have become our "Stay-In-And-Be-Anti-Social" night. We tend to cook dinner, cuddle on the couch, do homework, read magazine articles to each other, and banter back and forth with what amounts to "I love you more, no I love YOU more, No I Love YOOOOU more" dialog. It's a total gag-fest to the casual outside observer, but I have been reveling in every second of it. When did I become such a sappy homebody?

Saturday I went to a girlfriend's wedding shower where we drank wine, played silly shower games, and ooo-ed and ahhh-ed over her new Vera Wang china. So girly and fun. Saturday night, Kyle and I went to some other friends' house for a BBQ where I made the yummiest (and easiest) salad* and Kyle whipped up some AWESOME burgers. We stayed till midnight catching up with everyone, drinking beers, and stuffing our faces with strawberry shortcake. Perfection.

Sunday morning, after sleeping till way too late, we went out for brunch and then did the house hunting thing again. There are SO many houses to see in just the few neighborhoods we are considering. It is overwhelming and exhilaratingly all at once. We found the most amazing fixer-upper that I cannot stop thinking about. I want it sooooo bad. It's in the PERFECT location. And the facade is all old and Victorian and adorable, and it has a yard. And it's a two unit place so we could live in one unit and rent the other out for added income. The only problem? It's 1.36 million dollars. FOR A FIXER! And we're talking about needing to GUT the kitchens and bathrooms at a MINIMUM. We'd also like to tear down several of the interior walls AND re-level the floors. Does anyone have $1.5 million or so they'd like to lend me... indefinitely.

Anyone?

Still, I officially love the age I am currently at. Babies and weddings and house hunting - oh my! I always thought I would feel so "old" when I got here - as though I had somehow "peaked" - but everyday I discover just what an awesome stage in my life I am at. Yay. :)

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*Awesome (easy) salad recipe:
Romaine lettuce
White corn - fresh is better, but canned will do and is WAY easier
Avocado
Feta cheese
Blue corn tortilla chips (broken into smallish pieces)
Lite ranch dressing (b/c it tastes just as good as the regular stuff)
Lime juice and black pepper to taste

(Add the dressing just prior to serving or the chips will get mushy)

Enjoy!!

$628,488

Six Hundred Twenty Eight Thousand Four Hundred Eighty Eight dollars. That was the AVERAGE asking price of the eight 1-2 bedroom condos Kyle and I looked at this weekend in San Francisco.

Are you kidding me?

AND - we're talking about either semi shady neighborhoods or tiny places with no closet space and thin walls... although one place had a yard that I might actually sell my first child for.

Ugh.

Still... the thought of owning my own (tiny) slice of SF fills me with intense excitement and happiness and a general sense of fabulous grown-uped-ness (totally a word) that I must say I rather enjoy.

Eeeee!

Champaign Wishes And Lap Dance Dreams

For five Mondays in a row, four girlfriends and I dutifully donned our skivvies and some ridiculous shoes and headed to a seductively lit studio for our pole dance class. We laughed, and fell down a lot, and pretty much made fools of ourselves, but in the end we looked damn good and the classes were a blast. Once we got passed the bruises and sore bodies, Monday evenings became a time for bonding over our girlie-ness, boosting our feminine confidence, and celebrating our general all around sassiness. Come to think of it, Mondays rocked! So when the class ended last week, it was no surprise that the five of us were sad to see it go. Desperate to keep the dream alive, we decided to give our tired bodies a much deserved Monday off while we watched the professionals have at it. Yep, we went to a strip club. On a Monday. For an awesome reconnaissance mission / girlie bonding adventure. Yay!

Let’s just say that Mondays are not the most happening night to go to a strip club… apparently others have not yet received the “Monday = Pole Dance Day” memo... but, on the upside, without much competition from other patrons, we got oodles of attention, which we couldn’t have been happier with!

We told dancer after dancer that we had just finished a pole dance class and that we were there to do some research. They were SO excited for us and most of them did a special pole trick in our honor and then came over and hung out with us for a while afterward. We chatted with them about how difficult the tricks can be, where to buy the best outfits and shoes, and what music was the most fun to dance to, then we begged to know how they kept their skin so smooth. Such girl talk!

Meanwhile, men from across the club sent round after round after lap dance after round over to our table. Champaign, top shelf liquor, any girl we wanted. It was all taken care of.

I’d never been fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of a lap dance, and I’ll admit that I was more than a bit frazzled about what the heck I was actually supposed to be doing with my hands/arms/legs/face while a half-naked 23 year old writhed all over me (Holy Cow was her skin soft!), but once Paige (stage name, Dillion) was finished doing her thing on my lap and I could breath again, I have to say that, looking back, it was a very pleasant experience. I certainly felt special. And when the next dancer (whose name escapes me, becuase my heart belongs to Paige) sat us all on a bench and then did the splits across all five of our laps – well that was just REALLY COOL. Plus, the several free drinks we enjoyed while it was all happening weren’t half bad either.

We ended up staying out way too late and drinking way too much Champaign (I’ve been paying for it all week), but Mondays now hold an extra special place in my heart. Next up, amateur night???

The No-Thank-You Dance

So we've all been there... out dancing with the girls, giggling, having a blast, drinking just enough alcohol to shake your booty, but not so much that you'd want to shake your booty up against some strange guy. It's a girls' nights. No boys allowed! You're buying your own drinks, not making any eye contact with members of the opposite sex, and you've got your impenetrable girl circle going on on the dance floor. Life is good. Good until some slimy guy decides that your girl circle is an untapped resource that apparently needs tapping. You give him the "I'm not interested" look, you gracefully dance away from him, you even have a girlfriend pretend to be your lesbian lover in the hopes that he'll get the point that, really buddy, I don't want what you're selling! But the slimeballs are relentless. The girl circle is forced to hunker down and fend off attack after pathetic, drunken attack. You and your girls must be vigilant in a modern day circling of the wagons to keep the unwashed heathens out. Ugh.

If only there was a better way.

Ladies, there is! It's called the no-thank-you dance.

When one of the unwanted unwashed tries to infiltrate your posse, you simply switch it up a bit on the dance floor. Start with your arms in the air above your head, fingers spread eagle... think jazz hands. Now, to no particular beat what so ever, slowly wave your arms back and forth in a strange naughty by nature's "hey-ho!" / "We are the world" sort of hybrid motion. The slower and more awkward the better. Overzealous head bobbing is also strongly encouraged. Throw in a kick and an elbow jut here and there and you're golden. The goal of your dance should be to put Elaine from Seinfeld to shame.

No man can dance with this. I know, because I saw several try as my friend, Lucia, waved wildly to a beat that existed only in her head. The heathens dropped like flies as we all broke out the no-thank-you dance and flopped ungracefully around the dance floor. It was awesome. And it worked like a charm. I can't remember the last time I had such a great/slimeball free evening of dancing.

One small word of caution though... if you're going to use the no-thank-you dance, be sure to wear waterproof mascara, because you WILL laugh so hard you cry. I promise.

Just Another January

...or Because It's Easier To Post Pictures Than It Is To Write Something Meaningful

We, in the Bay Area, are spoiled. freakin. rotten.

From a day trip - with lots of stops - up the coast that Kyle and I took this weekend:


The bridge - this shot never gets old


Kyle on Black Sands Beach


Sunset at Point Reyes

The Kindness Of Strangers

It was raining when we left the concert Friday night, and raining even harder when we left the after-party at 2am – by the way, the concert? AMAZING. The bands? So entertaining! Me and Kyle? Interviewed (briefly) on the radio! (How exciting!) And the after-party? At Mighty, with Lily Allen? So Fun!!! Such an incredible night – but back to the rain, because, really, we’re talking cats and dogs here.

At 2am we finished our last-call drinks and left the warm dry after-party for the cold wet night. And then we realized our problem: we were smack dab in the middle of nowhere. And not too many cabs venture all the way over into nowhere. Especially not at 2 am. And definitely not when it’s raining. Ugh. So we prepared ourselves for the 17 block (2.1 mile) walk in the pouring rain. Did I mention I was wearing heels? Excellent. And then, like magic, a car appeared. A magical car filled with fairy godmothers (and one fairy godfather). This fabulous, magical, fairy godperson filled car pulled over and asked if we needed a ride. Are you kidding me??!! A very thorough (3 second) visual inspection of these people told me that they were not crazy and were not trying to rape and/or kill me and Kyle. Whew. So into the car we hopped and they drove 90% of the way home! I was happy, and grateful, and, to be honest, flabbergasted the entire time! What amazingly wonderful individuals. My faith in humanity? Restored.

Devil In Blue Dress Takes On Colorful Ninjas

In an apparent surprise attack, two ninjas tried to take down the Devil in a San Francisco bar late Friday night. The Devil, with a blue dress on, defended herself with what appeared to be a pitchfork covered in glitter. Sources close to the Devil claim she was trying to “jazz the pitchfork up a bit”.

The identity of the ninjas remains a mystery (damn stealthy ninjas). However, eyewitnesses have described them as “female, hot, and single.” In the hopes of bringing these two fugitives to justice, authorities are encouraging locals to scour San Francisco neighborhoods for hot single women. The locals have been very obliging and are taking it to a whole new level in areas such as the Marina – where “female and breathing” has become cause for a full body pat down by ex frat boys with propped collars and nighttime sunglasses.

The Devil could not be reached for comment, however, her boyfriend – a tinsel-halo and tiny-wing sporting angel – assured authorities that she did in fact arrive home safely after the ordeal. “I knew she was going to be fine when she demanded a 3 am quesadilla from Taqeria Cancun and started complaining that her must-have 3-inch stilettos were hurting her feet. The Devil is nothing if not high maintenance.”

Ozomatli, Ya Se Fue!

Reason # 8,452,321 why I love San Francisco (in no particular order): free concerts in the park with awesome bands like Ozomatli.

It was all but impossible to drag my 26 year old self out of bed at the butt crack of drawn (read: 7 am) Sunday morning – I’m no spring chicken, you know – but it was well worth it. We simply *had* to get good seats for the free concert at Stern Grove staring one of my fave bands, Ozomatli.

Thank goodness for Laura and AJ who got there at 9 am. Kyle and I missed ONE bus and didn’t arrive till 9:30 (grrr). The rest of our (totally random) crew trickled in throughout the morning until the concert started. By 2 pm we were rockin’ out with a few work friends, a few of Kyle’s friends from college, one of my best girl friends, a girl Kyle met while serving jury duty (hello, random), and a few of her friends – one of whom happened to be a friend of mine from Berkeley who I hadn’t seen in like 4 years (hello, small world!) In total we had about 15 people drinking wine and beer, eating WAY too much bread with fancy cheese, and having an absolute blast dancing to some amazing latin funk.

Ozomatli: You rock for bringing such a great group of people together!
San Fran: I heart you! But you alerady knew that. :)