Saturday, March 17, 2007

On Squashing Whatever Spirit Remains

First a bit of background info: They ("they" being the supreme evil entity that I currently work for) just remodeled our cubicles. And by "remodeled" I mean they tore down our drab brown, 10' x 10' life sucking boxes, and replaced them with bright shiny blue, 8' x 8' life sucking boxes. Smaller cubes = More slaves per building. The new cubes also force the occupant to sit with their back (and therefore computer screen) facing the door. (Ummm, hello worst feng shui ever!) All the better to keep tabs on you my dear.

I got an email this morning that actually made me shudder...

"This note is written to inform you of the requirements imposed on the newly remodeled areas. This includes all areas that have the new style cubicles. No bookcases or other non standard furniture will be allowed. This includes second chairs. For those personnel who have relocated to the newly constructed cubicles, you will be given two drawers of additional storage in the 4-drawer cabinets. Drawers will be assigned to you.

Evil Boss #1*, Evil Boss #2* and I have a very short period of time to purge the building of excess data and excess NFI hardware**. This will be accomplished. Everyone will have to live within their storage allotment. The sooner you understand and comply the easier it will be for all of us. Please purge as soon as you can. Its better you do it than we do it.

Thank you for your cooperation,

*Name changed to protect the evil.
** NFI Hardware is all the neat "extra" work parts/thingamajigs that we're not using anymore. They're either spare parts we don't need , or a development/prototype part, or a part that got damaged at some point. Anyway, being an engineer, I find actual hardware to be REALLY cool. You design stuff on the computer all day and it's neat to see it and touch it and play with it in real life. It helps you learn, and helps you explain things to others. There's no substitute for a good show and tell session with actual hardware. Once the company decides that they're not going to use a part for anything "official" anymore, the part becomes "NFI". The engineers tend to keep these NFI parts at their desks to play with.... well, at least we used to... I guess now we'll have to "purge" ???
*** Name NOT changed. The guy actually signed the email "Management"... like some scary, mysterious, name-less, face-less being. I swear I'm working in a Dilbert cartoon.

P.S. Happy St. Patty's everyone!!