Devil In Blue Dress Takes On Colorful Ninjas

In an apparent surprise attack, two ninjas tried to take down the Devil in a San Francisco bar late Friday night. The Devil, with a blue dress on, defended herself with what appeared to be a pitchfork covered in glitter. Sources close to the Devil claim she was trying to “jazz the pitchfork up a bit”.

The identity of the ninjas remains a mystery (damn stealthy ninjas). However, eyewitnesses have described them as “female, hot, and single.” In the hopes of bringing these two fugitives to justice, authorities are encouraging locals to scour San Francisco neighborhoods for hot single women. The locals have been very obliging and are taking it to a whole new level in areas such as the Marina – where “female and breathing” has become cause for a full body pat down by ex frat boys with propped collars and nighttime sunglasses.

The Devil could not be reached for comment, however, her boyfriend – a tinsel-halo and tiny-wing sporting angel – assured authorities that she did in fact arrive home safely after the ordeal. “I knew she was going to be fine when she demanded a 3 am quesadilla from Taqeria Cancun and started complaining that her must-have 3-inch stilettos were hurting her feet. The Devil is nothing if not high maintenance.”