Wedding Re-Cap Part 1

Ok here goes....

The blur begins about two weeks before the actual *big day*. Burnt out on work, and always the procrastinator, I decided to take the two weeks BEFORE my wedding day off from my "real" job in order to devote all of my time and energy to my new "job"... a.k.a. wedding planner extraordinaire. I pretty much gave myself 14 days to finish all the stuff I had been putting off for my entire 13 month engagement. In those brief, and unbelievably hectic two weeks I:

• Hired 2 limos for the day of the wedding
• Wrote my vows, the opening prayer for our ceremony, and an outline for the rest of our ceremony
• Scheduled hair stylists for my 8 bridesmaids
• Made the decision to do my own make-up (which led to me having to stalk every MAC counter I came across asking for tips)
• Selected ceremony music
• Made a "must-play" list for the reception
• Picked out a design for and ordered the cake
• Selected all the flowers I wanted
• Made the decision to just get the D*mn Chiavari Chairs
• Bought outfits for the welcome BBQ, the rehearsal dinner, and the farewell brunch
• Rented ceremony chairs, chair sashes, and table number stands - from three DIFFERENT rental companies
• Made out of town guest welcome bags
• Made 150 escort cards, 16 table numbers, and half a dozen other cutesy little signs
• Switched freakin hotels!
• Planned the entire rehearsal dinner
• Ordered presents for my bridesmaids, the groomsmen, and our parents
• Ordered flip-flops for my guests so their heels wouldn't sink into the grass (a HUGE hit, by the way)
• Put together what I can only describe as the worlds most awesome bathroom basket ever
• Ordered a fancy engraved silver cup/chalice thing that Kyle and I used for the wine blending portion of our ceremony (which by the way, was ALSO a last minute decision) and had it shipped to my house on the DAY BEFORE THE WEDDING! (UPS and Fed-Ex saved my butt about a million times during these two weeks!)
• Ordered 7 different sashes to potentially wear with my wedding dress (p.s. I didn't end up wearing any of them)
• Bought all the wine for the rehearsal dinner
• Made a Card Box
• Sized and re-dipped my wedding ring and engagement ring
• Finalized the linen rental
• Cleaned my house top to bottom
• And probably about a million other things that I'm forgetting now!

It was absolutely NUTS. In fact, if I had it to do all over again, that is one of the only things I would change. I would not procrastinate NEARLY as much. Oh well. I was up until midnight the night before the big day, still putting last minute stuff together, but everything that I wanted to get done, got done. I was so pleased. :)

I absolutely COULD NOT have done it without my bridesmaids. They were rock stars! On the Friday before the wedding, my sis helped make my out of town gift bags and my escort cards. She also fed me - which was VERY important, b/c about 4 days before the wedding I simply stopped eating because I was so busy/stressed. Seriously, it was all she could do to get a PB&J sandwich down my throat! Lucia and Alina went to the flower market for me, picked up flowers, and made 5 GORGEOUS flower arrangements for the reception - while I was out running errands. They also picked my dress up at the cleaners and checked into my hotel room for me! And Alina gave me a necklace to wear as my "something borrowed". (Seriously, 20 hours before I walked down the aisle, I had NO IDEA what my something borrowed would be - sheesh!) Emily and Sophie broke into my apartment in the middle of the night to retrieve my "something old" (my Dad's pocketknife) and my "something blue" (a Go Blue! Michigan garter) - I had forgotten to pack them before I left for the hotel. Sara glued card stock together for my table numbers - but only after warning that she wasn't especially crafty and that I shouldn't expect them to be perfect. (They totally were!) Kim lent me her sister to assist in my make-up dry-run (yes, the night before the wedding was when I did my first dry-run of my wedding make-up.) And Erica, magically, wonderfully, miracle of all miracles, fit into her bridesmaid dress with absolutely no alterations necessary, which I attribute to her fervent prayers. (Erica's dress was lost in the mail and we had to order her a new one at the last minute... it arrived to my house a few days before the wedding and so Erica, Kyle's sister who lives in Boston, never had a chance to try it, let alone get it altered! Each of my other 7 bridesmaids needed to have their dress EXTENSIVELY altered. My sister had to take it to her tailor TWO TIMES! Erica arrived at my house, tried the dress on for the first time, and it fit like a glove. It was an absolute miracle and I absolutely believe that Someone was smiling down on us.)

On the day of the wedding these 8 amazing women dressed me, buttoned allllllll my buttons (it took FOREVER!), fed me, drove back to the hotel for me to pick up my computer (my vows were on it, and I had forgotten to bring it with me!), copied my vows from my computer to a piece of paper for me to read from during the ceremony, helped me pee, cleaned split (Red!) wine off my wedding dress, helped me switch from heals into flip flops, and just were pretty much at my beckon call all day long. Seriously amazing. I love them all and am eternally grateful.

:)

Ok, part 2 to follow... stay tuned.

Alright People, Happy Thoughts!!!

For the next 45 days I'm going to focus on the positive. I'm going to do what I can with what I have. And it's going to be amazing. Take that, stress monster!

First off - Did I completely forget to post about my bridal shower/bachelorette party weekend extravaganza?? Tsk tsk! Let's go there now, shall we? It was A.MAZ.ING. I can remember at least 4 or 5 distinct moments where I had to take a minute to pause because I felt so overwhelming loved and blessed and happy. It really just doesn't get any better than that. :)

Ok, Friday night. The girls flew in from all over the freakin place and we converged on my friend Stephanie's apartment. It's been entirely too long since I've had a slumber party!


With my BFF, Kim, from New York


All the girls


Rocking the tiara


Phallic Play-Doh... the night went mostly down hill from here.


Then came Saturday! My Bridal Shower!!!!!

So much amazing food!!!


I was pretty excited about the edible arrangement.


Love these ladies


Concentrating hard on a shower game


Cake!! Strawberry shortcake - my favorite!!


My first shower present - fancy placemats for all of the Christmas and Thanksgiving dinners I'll someday serve.


Kim starting the ribbon bouquet


So excited to get my "everyday" plates


I seriously got the best presents ever!


Anything with my new "H" initial on it makes me all weepy :)


With the finished ribbon bouquet on my head.


All the girls at the party


My sis, my mom, and me

And then came Saturday night!

Whistles and shot glasses - dangerous


Rocking the "Sexy Little Bride" hoodie


The dresses in the closet


Opening presents


Cheers!!!


Some artsy black and whites


Me being silly


All the girls - all dressed up


My sis and me


My SF girls


Out at the Hotel Roosevelt Pool Bar



A few more artsy shots


My favorite twins!!!


Me at the end of the night, sitting on the ground... classy.


Sunday morning.

I BOUGHT A DRESS! (Again... And Then Again)

Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I'm so excited I could throw up. Literally. In fact, I almost did. This morning. Have I mentioned how stressful it is to plan a wedding??

ANYway.

I BOUGHT A DRESS!!!!! YES!

In fact I bought two dresses... in about 18 hours. Which brings my total number of wedding dress purchases up to three. Gah!

Who has two thumbs and buys THREE different wedding dresses?? This girl. [Points both thumbs at self]

Luckily there's that 24 hour return policy that the Bridal Galleria in San Francisco is SO AWESOME for having. I heart them, seriously. And I pity them. Well, mostly I pity Anne, my sales lady, who has now spent a grand total of five and a half hours watching me change in and out of fluffy white things. Oh, and fret. Yes, there was much fretting on my part and Anne was very patient. We love her.

So yesterday I went to Bridal Galleria to try on the Marisa 729 dress, which they told me they had. I got there at 11 am and, much to my dismay, they DID NOT have the 729 dress. (mrrrr) They did, however, have a similar dress (yay!) , which I didn't like as much (again with the mrrrrr.) And then the worst thing EVER happened. They told me that the 729 dress had been DISCONTINUED!!! I felt like someone stabbed me in the chest. Apparently it was discontinued JUST LAST WEEK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And a call went out to the bridal salons to pull it from their rack. JUST LAST WEEK!!! I tried the freakin thing on on Saturday for crying out loud! And now, 8 days later, they're telling me it's discontinued!?!?!? Kill me. Anne told me that since it was JUST BARELY discontinued, they could probably still order it. But I'd have to act fast. Like order it right.then.and.there fast. (Which p.s. I really didn't want to do because I'd already found the 729 dress for $1000 less from a salon in Louisiana!)

So I had to weigh my options: Spend $1000 more and be sure to get the dress, or risk ordering it the next day, from a salon in Louisiana that I've never been to, to save a grand. Ugh.

And then I found another dress...

It just so happens that the salon was having a trunk show with one of my favorite designers, Lazaro, at the same time that all this fretting over the 729 dress was going on. And he was THERE! And he is AWESOME. As I was trying other dresses on (because, hey, while I'm there I might as well try on 15 more dresses) he picked out a dress from his (very large) collection specifically for ME! It was beautiful. Very luxurious. I thought FOR SURE I could never afford it. But it turned out to actually be in my budget!! (Hooray!) I wasn't a huge fan of the color, but Lazaro told me he could make it from a different color fabric, JUST FOR ME! I felt very special. So, after 3 and a half agonizing hours, [Do stick with the Marisa 729? Do I buy it here? Do I wait till tomorrow? Do I buy the Lazaro???] I bought the Lazaro dress. (And Lazaro sketched a picture of it for me and signed it and everything!!! Very cool.)

So anyway, then I went home and looked at pictures of me in the dress and decided that you couldn't see ME at all. It was all dress. A beautiful dress. But *I* want to be the star of the show, not my dress. I wanted the Marisa 729. But now the SF store was closed and the Louisiana store was closed and I had a dress that I didn't want. Enter fits of panic and nausea.

I could barely sleep last night.

This morning, on my way to work, I called the Louisiana store the MINUTE it opened. I told them I wanted to order the 729 dress. The man on the other end of the line told me it had been discontinued [heart sinks... eyes well up with tears] but that he'd call the designer really quick and see if he'd still make it. Sixty (horrible) seconds later, the nice Louisiana man came back on line and told me that I could order the dress [clouds part... angles sing.]

I told him the size (10), the color (white silk satin with white lace), and that I wanted 3 inches added to the length and a modified neckline (inverted scoop... like a bump instead of a dip). He took down my visa number and told me I'd have my dress in 5 months.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

I then called and canceled my (second) dress from Bridal Galleria. I'm pretty sure they hate me.

So now I have (one) dress that I love. And I saved $1000. Which put the dress WELL within my budget. And I bought it from a part of the country that could probably use the influx of cash (the salon is right in the heart of New Orleans) and the dress is made in America! I could not be happier.

The first dress I bought can be seen HERE and HERE.

The second dress I bought can be seen HERE and HERE.

The third (and final) dress I bought can sort of be seen HERE and HERE. (Remember, the dress will be a bit longer, with a different neckline, in a different color.)

Much better pictures of the dress I bought can be seen on this lovely lady's website. (Note: she changed the back and left the scoop in front... so my dress will be a bit different... but I think this gives the best idea of what it will look like.)

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Also, no, I'm not finished with my paper yet...

Honing My Skills

When I arrived at the bridal salon on Sunday, I was immediately overwhelmed by the sea of white that surrounded me. They must have had a thousand dresses there. And the sales girls knew of each them (the dresses I mean) by designer and style and they rattled their names off as if they were familiar household items instead of overpriced pieces of satin.

Her: “I’m seeing you in a Pronovias Ebano… or maybe a La Sposa Saman… what do you think?”
Me: blank stare… “I was, uh, hoping, for something, sorta, um, white-ish, that uh, um, makes me look pretty. What do you have in that department?”
Her: “Courtney, sweetheart! Don’t worry. We’ll get there. When’s the wedding?”
Me: “uh… September... of next year?”
Her: “Oh thank God! Thank God we have time! Come with me.”

And then she whisked me away into a fitting room, stripped me of my clothes, put me in strapless corset bra and petticoat and then started hoisting wedding dresses over my head as I closed my eyes and stretched my arms toward the ceiling. Shimmy, zip, pin, fluff, Viola! I’m bridal! I try on about ten dresses with varying degrees of success. None of them was *it* but I did learn a lot:

First of all, the classic A-line dress makes me look fat. I didn’t actually think it was possible for an A-line to look bad on anyone, but, hey, I guess I’m special.

Second of all, beads, sequins, rhinestones, crystals, and anything of the shiny persuasion – GET IT OFF ME! The sparkles that I love so much on other brides, and that I think show up so nicely in their photos, make ME feel like either a little Disney princess or a trampy Vegas showgirl. Neither of which is what I’m going for. Blech.

Third, straps are painful! Who knew? All my life I’ve had my heart set on a dress with tank top style straps (the better to wear a bra and be comfortable with!). But nooooooooooo. Now I understand why 99% of the store was filled with strapless gowns. If your dress has any sort of heft to it, the straps dig into your shoulders and make it impossible to hug people. Yikes! So now I’m thinking I might go strapless – this literally flips my entire world on its side. I’ve never thought of myself as a strapless kind of girl!

Fourth, NO SWEETHEART NECKS! You gotta give a girl SOME coverage if she’s gonna go strapless! Sheesh. There will be grandparents at this wedding. I can’t have my “girls” falling all out of a low cut sweetheart neckline. So please, Less Flesh!!

I think I am now MUCH more prepared for this whole process. In fact I just got off the phone with a second bridal salon. When she asked if I had any idea what I wanted, I responded, “Yes. I’m looking for a modified A-line with a dropped waist, made of silk, off white, with asymmetrical rouching on the bodice and a skirt that moves when I walk. Court train. No beads. No chiffon. No charmeuse. Lace is an option, but only as an embellishment. Nothing low cut.”

Ha! I can *so* do this!

Now all I need to do is FIND this (fictitious) perfect dress that I've invented in my head...

It's Actually Just A Basketball, Isn't It

Saw my sister-in-law last weekend in L.A. (had a wonderful time down there, by the way... Kyle and I drove down, had dinner with my mom and step dad, stayed with my sis and her boyfriend, oooed and ahhhed at my sister-in-law's baby shower, went to my cousin's graduation dinner, and hung out with Kyle's aunt and uncle - do we know how to pack stuff into a weekend or what!?)

ANYway, while at the baby shower, I couldn't help but think that my sister-in-law might not actually be pregnant. Because, seriously, NO ONE can look that gorgeous and tiny while carrying a whole human being inside them!

Exhibit A:

My tiny sister-in-law from the back. See that??? It's a WAIST! You're not allowed to have a waist while you're pregnant!

Exhibit B:

My sis, my sister-in-law, and me - I'm pretty sure *I* look more pregnant that she does. (mrrrr)

I think it may just be a scam to get adorable little pants:

Are those the cutest things you have EVER seen or what???

My beautiful, amazing, smart, sophisticated, wonderful, couldn't ask for a more awesome girl to love my brother, even though I'm totally jealous of how she is just ROCKIN this pregnancy thing, sister-in law. 8 1/2 months pregnant:
(She's due July 28!!! Eeeeee!)

It's *totally* a basketball under that dress! No? (I hope not - I REALLY REALLY want a nephew!)

:)

*************************************
Updated to add:
(because it's just too cute to leave out)

My bro checkin' out all the loot from the baby shower! Heee!

Totally Nomal

This just in... I am officially TOTALLY NORMAL!!*

*...at least when it comes to the cells on my cervix. I went in today for my Colposcopy exam and, after some poking and prodding, got a clean bill of health from my doctor. She didn't even have to biopsy anything. Hooray! Thanks everyone for the prayers, the support, and the well wishes. Warm fuzzies to you all.

Champaign Wishes And Lap Dance Dreams

For five Mondays in a row, four girlfriends and I dutifully donned our skivvies and some ridiculous shoes and headed to a seductively lit studio for our pole dance class. We laughed, and fell down a lot, and pretty much made fools of ourselves, but in the end we looked damn good and the classes were a blast. Once we got passed the bruises and sore bodies, Monday evenings became a time for bonding over our girlie-ness, boosting our feminine confidence, and celebrating our general all around sassiness. Come to think of it, Mondays rocked! So when the class ended last week, it was no surprise that the five of us were sad to see it go. Desperate to keep the dream alive, we decided to give our tired bodies a much deserved Monday off while we watched the professionals have at it. Yep, we went to a strip club. On a Monday. For an awesome reconnaissance mission / girlie bonding adventure. Yay!

Let’s just say that Mondays are not the most happening night to go to a strip club… apparently others have not yet received the “Monday = Pole Dance Day” memo... but, on the upside, without much competition from other patrons, we got oodles of attention, which we couldn’t have been happier with!

We told dancer after dancer that we had just finished a pole dance class and that we were there to do some research. They were SO excited for us and most of them did a special pole trick in our honor and then came over and hung out with us for a while afterward. We chatted with them about how difficult the tricks can be, where to buy the best outfits and shoes, and what music was the most fun to dance to, then we begged to know how they kept their skin so smooth. Such girl talk!

Meanwhile, men from across the club sent round after round after lap dance after round over to our table. Champaign, top shelf liquor, any girl we wanted. It was all taken care of.

I’d never been fortunate enough to be on the receiving end of a lap dance, and I’ll admit that I was more than a bit frazzled about what the heck I was actually supposed to be doing with my hands/arms/legs/face while a half-naked 23 year old writhed all over me (Holy Cow was her skin soft!), but once Paige (stage name, Dillion) was finished doing her thing on my lap and I could breath again, I have to say that, looking back, it was a very pleasant experience. I certainly felt special. And when the next dancer (whose name escapes me, becuase my heart belongs to Paige) sat us all on a bench and then did the splits across all five of our laps – well that was just REALLY COOL. Plus, the several free drinks we enjoyed while it was all happening weren’t half bad either.

We ended up staying out way too late and drinking way too much Champaign (I’ve been paying for it all week), but Mondays now hold an extra special place in my heart. Next up, amateur night???

The No-Thank-You Dance

So we've all been there... out dancing with the girls, giggling, having a blast, drinking just enough alcohol to shake your booty, but not so much that you'd want to shake your booty up against some strange guy. It's a girls' nights. No boys allowed! You're buying your own drinks, not making any eye contact with members of the opposite sex, and you've got your impenetrable girl circle going on on the dance floor. Life is good. Good until some slimy guy decides that your girl circle is an untapped resource that apparently needs tapping. You give him the "I'm not interested" look, you gracefully dance away from him, you even have a girlfriend pretend to be your lesbian lover in the hopes that he'll get the point that, really buddy, I don't want what you're selling! But the slimeballs are relentless. The girl circle is forced to hunker down and fend off attack after pathetic, drunken attack. You and your girls must be vigilant in a modern day circling of the wagons to keep the unwashed heathens out. Ugh.

If only there was a better way.

Ladies, there is! It's called the no-thank-you dance.

When one of the unwanted unwashed tries to infiltrate your posse, you simply switch it up a bit on the dance floor. Start with your arms in the air above your head, fingers spread eagle... think jazz hands. Now, to no particular beat what so ever, slowly wave your arms back and forth in a strange naughty by nature's "hey-ho!" / "We are the world" sort of hybrid motion. The slower and more awkward the better. Overzealous head bobbing is also strongly encouraged. Throw in a kick and an elbow jut here and there and you're golden. The goal of your dance should be to put Elaine from Seinfeld to shame.

No man can dance with this. I know, because I saw several try as my friend, Lucia, waved wildly to a beat that existed only in her head. The heathens dropped like flies as we all broke out the no-thank-you dance and flopped ungracefully around the dance floor. It was awesome. And it worked like a charm. I can't remember the last time I had such a great/slimeball free evening of dancing.

One small word of caution though... if you're going to use the no-thank-you dance, be sure to wear waterproof mascara, because you WILL laugh so hard you cry. I promise.

Behold Torture

Yes, I have to wear these for my pole dance class... and let me tell you, trying to be sexy while simultaneously trying to not break both your ankles requires a level of multi-tasking that I may never achieve.

Not Quitting My Day Job Any Time Soon

I should have known better. Should have known it was a mistake. Should have realized what I was getting myself into.

I thought I could handle it.

As I hide my bruises and fabricate excuses to co-workers for why it hurts to stand up, I realize – I’m in way over my head… I just… never thought it would be like this.

I’m writing, of course, about pole dancing.

Yes, pole dancing – as in skimpy outfits, seductive music, and a cold metal pole, mercilessly beating on my shins and inner thighs as I try desperately to cling to it. It’s not a pretty sight. What it is is frustrating, and exhausting, and $50 per class... it's the antithesis of pretty.

First off, the upper body strength required of a pole dancer is a detail that I greatly under appreciated… the friction of your patent leather heel against the pole and the super human strength of your “strong arm” (that’s what they call it in the biz) is all that you have to pull your entire body up off the floor. Let’s just say that my “strong arm” is little lacking in the strong department and the 14 (girlie) push-ups that I’ve been doing EVERY day for two weeks now are just not helping.

Second of all, two words – hand sweat. I don’t know what kind of gymnast’s chalk these girls are using, but I have got to get my hands on some (quite literally.) My pole all but drips with the perspiration from my disgusting palms… ewe ewe, and double ewe. I do a rubbing alcohol wipe down every few minutes, but it seems to provide only mediocre, and temporary, improvement.

Third, my backside + those skimpy little outfits = a shocking punch to the gut wake-up call regarding the devastating effects of long term exposure to the comfy chair in my cubicle. (I wonder if “Office-chair butt” is a work-related condition covered by my health insurance similar to carpel tunnel syndrome… I should ask.)

And then there are the shoes – HA! Do not get me started. 6 and a half inches of patent leather torture. And you want me dance in these things??

All I can say is it’s a damn good thing I have this engineering degree to fall back on, because I would never make it as a exoctic dancer.

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*p.s. Sorry I've been gone for SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO long... things have gotten ridiculous at work AND I'm back in school (eee!). I've missed you all!!!

An Argument In Favor Of Getting The Correct Size

Ah-ha!! I may be crazy, but at least I'm not alone.

This is one of the best blog posts I've ever read.

See how hard it is to be a girl!?

The Next Chapter

The funny thing about life is that it just keeps going. It doesn’t stop for bumps in the road. It doesn’t speed up through the hard times or slow down to let you savor good times. There is no pause button, no “wait a minute while I catch my breath” switch, no time-out. Without any instruction or direction or even permission from us, it marches right along, sometimes without so much as courtesy call.

Twelve weeks ago, when no one was paying much attention, when we were still reeling from our father passing away, when we were not at all prepared, life did its thing. No fanfare, no countdown, not even an announcement over the PA system… twelve weeks ago, life just quietly, miraculously, went on.

***

I’m going to be an aunt!

My brother, Tyler, and beautiful sister-in-law, Brigid, are going to be parents!! (Surprise!!!)

And so begins the next chapter in the book, the next generation.

(I'm so excited I might actually burst! It's taken every ounce of my will power not to blog about this until the recommended 12 week point! YAY!!!)

:)

Abnormal

Sometimes I just want to fast forward. See how it all ends. Does she get the boy? Does she have children? Do they live happily ever after in a big house on a quiet street with good schools? Do her and her siblings stay close? Does everyone live to be 103? Does she have more good times than bad? Does it all work out?

For crying out loud I *need* to know so I can stop worrying.

I know that life is about the journey and that, really, the journey is already whizzing by at an all too alarming speed. I should want everything to slow down just a bit, so I have more time to enjoy it all. Smell the roses, if you will. But I don’t. I find myself trying to hurry life along so I can see how it all turns out. I feel like I’m watching a movie in real time when, really, I’d like to get to all the good stuff in the next 2 hours or so. It’s a very difficult way to live your life – trust me.

I got a call from my doctor today – abnormal pap. (If you’re a boy, and you’re reading this, pretend I just started talking about shoe shopping… feel free to zone out at any time.)

“Slightly abnormal squeamish (???) cells of indeterminate significance.” (Or something to that effect.)

Don’t you just hate it when the floor falls right out from underneath you?

It’s not the first abnormal pap I’ve ever had. They biopsied my cervix a few years back and everything was honky-dory. Whew. But I honestly never thought I’d have to go through it again.

:(

I hate this feeling. I hate being scared. I hate not knowing. I hate feeling like I’m walking blindly into my future, just sorta watching it unfold as it comes at me. I want to read the last page, know that the heroine makes it out unscathed, and then go back and enjoy the story without having to worry.

Although, I suppose the flip-side is reading the last page, discovering that the heroine dies on Tuesday in a fiery auto accident, and then throwing the book away because I hate sad endings.

Ugh. Life is hard.