I Need More Weekends In My Life

With 5 weddings, 3 graduations, and a baby (no, not mine! My nephew, remember?) on the calendar, the next few months promise to be busy busy busy. So this past weekend Kyle and I laid low.

Fridays have become our "Stay-In-And-Be-Anti-Social" night. We tend to cook dinner, cuddle on the couch, do homework, read magazine articles to each other, and banter back and forth with what amounts to "I love you more, no I love YOU more, No I Love YOOOOU more" dialog. It's a total gag-fest to the casual outside observer, but I have been reveling in every second of it. When did I become such a sappy homebody?

Saturday I went to a girlfriend's wedding shower where we drank wine, played silly shower games, and ooo-ed and ahhh-ed over her new Vera Wang china. So girly and fun. Saturday night, Kyle and I went to some other friends' house for a BBQ where I made the yummiest (and easiest) salad* and Kyle whipped up some AWESOME burgers. We stayed till midnight catching up with everyone, drinking beers, and stuffing our faces with strawberry shortcake. Perfection.

Sunday morning, after sleeping till way too late, we went out for brunch and then did the house hunting thing again. There are SO many houses to see in just the few neighborhoods we are considering. It is overwhelming and exhilaratingly all at once. We found the most amazing fixer-upper that I cannot stop thinking about. I want it sooooo bad. It's in the PERFECT location. And the facade is all old and Victorian and adorable, and it has a yard. And it's a two unit place so we could live in one unit and rent the other out for added income. The only problem? It's 1.36 million dollars. FOR A FIXER! And we're talking about needing to GUT the kitchens and bathrooms at a MINIMUM. We'd also like to tear down several of the interior walls AND re-level the floors. Does anyone have $1.5 million or so they'd like to lend me... indefinitely.

Anyone?

Still, I officially love the age I am currently at. Babies and weddings and house hunting - oh my! I always thought I would feel so "old" when I got here - as though I had somehow "peaked" - but everyday I discover just what an awesome stage in my life I am at. Yay. :)

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*Awesome (easy) salad recipe:
Romaine lettuce
White corn - fresh is better, but canned will do and is WAY easier
Avocado
Feta cheese
Blue corn tortilla chips (broken into smallish pieces)
Lite ranch dressing (b/c it tastes just as good as the regular stuff)
Lime juice and black pepper to taste

(Add the dressing just prior to serving or the chips will get mushy)

Enjoy!!

In Response To Fiscal Fred

From a concerned reader:

I don't mean to rain on the parade, but you would be much better off putting that 300$ towards your credit card debt. The return on investment that you get from savings will never be as high as the exorbitant rates that credit card companies charge.

-Fiscal Fred

Dear Fiscal Fred,

That is an excellent point that I’m glad you brought up, seeing as how the topic of my credit card debt has been a hot one as of late.

The answer is No, I would not be much better off putting that $300 towards my credit card debt. Thanks to several very snazzy balance transfer offers (No balance transfer fee and 0 – 2% APR for either the life of the transfer or at least the first 12 months – who’d of thunk junk mail could be so useful!) and some very strategic planning and monitoring on my part (I track all my credit cards in excel to ensure I don’t go past the 12 month intro period and always pay off my “regular” card – the one I put purchases on which is at 7.9% APR – first), I am currently paying close to NO interest on all my credit cards. In my saving account (offered through my local credit union) I earn 5.05% interest on my savings. According to my calculations, I'm coming out ahead here.

Furthermore, with my new IRA, my money is invested in stocks which will conservatively grow at about 8% APY over the long term. AND that growth is tax free! Not just tax deferred like my 401(k), which, hello!, is a total added bonus!

Of course, I still need to pay off my credit cards in a timely fashion to bring my debt to income ratio down so that I can up my credit score and buy a house… but, in my opinion, as long as my interest rates are super low, socking EVERY penny I have into my credit cards isn’t necessarily the best plan of attack.

But thanks for the concern, Fred!

Also, as far as paying off credit card debt goes, which some of you have been asking about lately, I do have some suggestions…

1. ONLINE BANKING WITH AUTOMATIC BILL PAY!!! – ALL of my credit card bill payments come directly out of my checking account EVERY payday… Poof. Gone. Like the money was never even there. Not just once a month. EVERY payday. (Which for me is every week.) I started out just paying $10-$15 towards every card every week to cover the minimum (at the time, I had 7 credit cards!) and paying down the higher interest ones as quickly as possible by dumping extra bucks in whenever I could. Now I’m down to 5 cards… and almost down to 3. (I CANNOT wait!) Online banking saved me and I could not live without it. When the money comes out automatically you barely even miss it.

2. Balance transfer. Balance transfer. Balance transfer! Yes it’s a juggling act. And if you mess up they hit you HARD with high APRs. But if you do it right you can get away with paying very little interest! A few things to consider… watch out for Balance Transfer Fees – I hate them and refuse to pay them unless I sit down and crunch the numbers and decide that they are really worth it. (i.e. paying $75 to transfer $8,000 that was at 18% interest down to a card that had a fixed 0% interest. Duh – that’s a smart move.) Also, remember that every time you apply for a new credit card it’s a (small) ding to your credit score – So be a little choosy about which cards you apply for and how often you do it.

3. Work as much over time as humanly possible. Extra money + no time to spend it = less debt.

4. Post the total on your blog and tell your friends you are working to pay it down. You have no idea how many times I’ve wanted to buy something and then thought – crap… this will make my overall credit card debt go up and I’ll have to admit to the world that I suck.

Ta-Duh! Hope this helps.

Spider On My FACE

AHAHHAHHARHRHRHGHGHAHHERWEAHAHAH!

I was just (yes *just*, as in barely 5 minutes ago) sitting in an important meeting... filled with all sorts of prominent people... when a spider decided to descend from his spot, safe and sound on the ceiling, down onto my FACE!!!

*MY FACE!*

He landed on my eyebrow and articulated his giant spider legs in front of my eyeball and was, no doubt, making a move to crawl down my cheek. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Obviously I shrieked (not quietly, mind you) like a little girl with a giant spider on her face. I then proceeded to jump up from my chair, flail my arms around wildly, shake my hair out, and run screaming from the conference room - Get it off me! Get it off me!

Definitely one of my finer work place moments.

But can you blame me? There was a spider on my FACE!

Gah.

Can I go home now? I need to take like 18 showers.

Because Someday... BAM... I'll Be Old And Grey And Wanting To Retire

Speaking of being so grown-upy... Check me out! I just opened a my very own Roth IRA. Oh ya, baby, I plan to enjoy my retirement. (Provided I survive the next 30 to 40 years working for the Man.)

I could only manage to put $300 in it (still chipping away at my credit card debt) but I think it's a very nice start and I must say that it feels AMAZING to know that I'm planning for my future.

Why all the gun-ho energy to get my finances in order? I just finished reading Suze Orman's book Young, Fabulous, and Broke. (p.s. I DEVOURED this book and simply cannot recommend it enough if you are, like me, struggling to make sense of IRAs and 401(k)s and saving accounts and student loan debt and credit card debt and FICO scores and home buying and whatnot all while trying to makes ends meet. It's a really easy read, chalk full of good info, and quite empowering! I actually found myself talking about no-load index funds this morning with a co-worker and I TOTALLY knew what I was talking about it! WOW!)

Fingers crossed for me that I don't totally blow this whole investing thing. I simply CANNOT be 80 years old still sitting in this cube farm.

$628,488

Six Hundred Twenty Eight Thousand Four Hundred Eighty Eight dollars. That was the AVERAGE asking price of the eight 1-2 bedroom condos Kyle and I looked at this weekend in San Francisco.

Are you kidding me?

AND - we're talking about either semi shady neighborhoods or tiny places with no closet space and thin walls... although one place had a yard that I might actually sell my first child for.

Ugh.

Still... the thought of owning my own (tiny) slice of SF fills me with intense excitement and happiness and a general sense of fabulous grown-uped-ness (totally a word) that I must say I rather enjoy.

Eeeee!

We Will Prevail

A beautiful email sent to some of my Virginia Tech Alumni friends:

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From: Virginia Tech Alumni Association
Sent: Thursday, April 19, 2007 12:24 PM
To: All Alumni April 2007

“We will prevail; we will prevail; we will prevail. WE ARE VIRGINIA TECH!”
Those words closed the Memorial Convocation held Tuesday afternoon on the campus. They were from renowned poet and University Distinguished Professor Nikki Giovanni.

No words could more powerfully proclaim the unity and bonding that Virginia Tech alumni feel all around the world. No words could more meaningfully signal that the process of healing has begun. A candlelight vigil was held later Tuesday evening on the Drillfield and was attended by thousands of students, faculty and staff, townspeople, alumni and other visitors who came to support a hurting community.

President Bush and Governor Kaine gave messages of comfort and inspiration to thousands in the audiences gathered in Cassell Coliseum and Lane Stadium. University President Charles Steger received the longest of standing ovations at the convocation, clearly a symbol of respect for his solid leadership through these horrific events that have gripped the nation and world.

Emails and phone messages have poured in literally from around the world. These are in overwhelming numbers, and so very meaningful to all of us closest to the tragedy. President Bush and Governor Kaine visited with the grieving family members who were assembled on the campus. Dr. Steger has continued to meet with them to offer the university’s support through every channel imaginable. The assistance and guidance from the Virginia Tech Police and all other law enforcement personnel with us has been invaluable throughout these past few days.

One of my colleagues at a sister institution wrote of how flags and spirits have been lowered on his campus, as they have on hundreds of other campuses across the country in honor of our loss. Yet, just as all have witnessed the lowering, they know that recovery will be made possible by the many hands that can raise flags and spirits together.

Our Alumni Association has learned of an effort to designate this Friday, April 20th, as HOKIE HOPE: ORANGE and MAROON EFFECT day worldwide. We encourage all alumni to come together or communicate with each other on this day especially. If you choose, wear something symbolic of the university’s colors, logos, or marks to declare loyalty and support for the healing that has already begun. We support this initiative wholeheartedly and hope that each of you, in your own way, will display pride in your alma mater – and remember especially those faculty and students who perished in random acts of violence on our campus – an unparalleled tragedy in our history.

In my previous email, I spoke of the creation of the "Virginia Tech Family Fund." This has been re-designated the “Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund”. They are one in the same. Your designation to either fund name will serve to assist the families of victims as well as others who were injured, and appropriately memorialize all those who lost their lives during the tragic events of April 16th.

For additional information go to www.vt.edu for an official link to the Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund, as well as to counseling resources nationally, memorial services planned by alumni chapters and other groups, and other information about the events of recent or coming days.

Ann Spencer ’76 serves as the current President of our Alumni Association, a volunteer role she has held since this past July. Ann asked me to include her message to all our alumni on behalf of our Alumni Association and its Board of Directors.

The aftermath of this week’s tragic events will bond our alumni, students, faculty, and staff in ways we could never have imagined. Virginia Tech students, our future alumni, have shown unity and courage that make us proud to know they will be joining our ranks of some 200,000 alumni of this remarkably resilient institution. The response our university community has shown the world makes me proud of Virginia Tech for the special place it is, and very honored to be a member of the Hokie Family.

Our National Board of the Virginia Tech Alumni Association fully supports and commends President Steger and his staff, Police Chief Flinchum and all law enforcement officials, and the entire university community in their skillful handling of this tragedy. President Steger has shown consistent strong leadership for the university and his leadership has continued throughout this crisis.

Our Alumni Association expresses our sincerest condolences to the victims, their families and loved ones. We share in your grief and loss of members of our Virginia Tech Family. We are all committed to helping our Hokie Nation heal through this difficult time. Nikki Giovanni said it best: ‘We will prevail...We are Virginia Tech.’ We encourage your participation in the Orange and Maroon Effect this Friday. Ann Spencer, President

We know that our alumni and friends around the world feel our pain and share our grief. Know that your concern and support gives us strength and courage to face the future. Our darkest hour truly has passed, and we now move forward as a family united under one of the finest and most respected universities in the world.

Tom Tillar
Vice President for Alumni Relations

Pictures From Virginia

My friends, AJ and Laura, live in Virginia - about 2 hours away from Virgina Tech. Laura is working towards her PhD at the University of Virginia. They attended a candlelight vigil this week at UVA for those affected by the tragedy at Virginia Tech. AJ has an amazing eye. Here are a few pictures he snapped.



Originally uploaded by some.dude at flickr.com.

The Most Inopportune Times

The trouble with grief is that it has no sense of timing. It doesn’t understand when is and when is not a “good” time for a person to be reduced to pitiful pile of tears and snot. It comes on, uninvited and unexpected, pretty much whenever it damn well pleases.

Kyle and I were enjoying a lazy Saturday morning, dreaming and chatting about our potential future life together and how wonderful it would obviously be. I shared with him a scene I’d painted in my head some months ago. It would be early on a Sunday morning. The kids would still be asleep (I have GREAT kids in my fantasy land – they always sleep till at least 10 on the weekends.) Kyle and I would be sitting on the balcony just off our amazing bedroom, in matching monogrammed robes, reading the Wall Street Journal (or something else grown-upy like that), overlooking our perfectly landscaped yard filled with jasmine and wisteria, drinking fresh ground coffee and eating grapefruit.

Grapefruit? Kyle asked.

Sure, why not. It’s healthy, and it seems sophisticated, don’t you think? It would go so well the scene. Besides, I had a grapefruit tree growing up and it was DELICIOUS!

Ruby Red or Regular?

Growing up? Ummmm… it was… I… I don’t remember.

And like a wave rushing over, the thought pummeled me. I couldn’t remember something about my house. I knew EVERYTHING about that house. How could I just not remember?

I felt the tears well up and I immediately shoved all my emotions into a tiny little box. And then I tied a neat little bow around it. And then I stuck the box on the highest shelf in the waaaay back of a closet. And then I shut the closet door. And locked the closet door. And locked the door to the room leading to the closet. And then I went outside to play.

Several hours later, at bar in San Francisco, I sat with my friends having a grand old time. Laughing and chatting and taking pictures. My ex was there, which is strange for a million reasons, but we all seemed to be getting along nicely. It was a pleasant surprise. In fact I was quite pleased with whole the evening.

Until I remembered the flowers.

Out of no where I remembered the bouquet of flowers that my ex had sent to my house for my dad’s funeral. They were STUNNING. White lilies and roses. I remember how touched I’d been when he sent them. And then the little box, with its little bow, tucked way back in the locked closet… exploded. One moment I was remembering sweet smelling flowers and the next I was thinking about the funeral and my dad and how pretty my house looked that day and how I would never see it or have one of those grapefruits again.

Flood.

I lost it the corner of the bar and could not for the life of me pull myself back together. I sobbed until my eyes and face begged for mercy – all red and puffy and stingy. I couldn’t even bring myself to leave the bar. I cried until last call, when the bartender handed me a jello shot to help cheer me up – because, clearly, what I was suffering from would easily be cured with cheap vodka and corn syrup.

The grief overwhelmed me and I couldn’t keep it in a little box one second longer.

And of course half the people in the bar thought I was crying, inconsolably, over my ex who was sitting not 5 feet away. Awesome.

That’ll teach me to keep things in little boxes.

The Last Buck Ranch

This Easter was spent with my family at the Last Buck Ranch, an awesome hide-away in central California so named because my step-uncle, Lance, spent every last dollar he had to buy it nearly 2 decades ago. It was fantastic.

Kyle and I arrived at the ranch Saturday afternoon after spending a few hours with my Mom and my uncle, Danny, at my mom’s restaurant drinking beer, tasting local wine, and getting our fill of yummy pulled beef sandwiches. (Thanks Mom!!) When we got to the ranch, we dropped our stuff off in our room and I proceeded to give Kyle a tour of the amazing 4 bedroom house – chalk full of civil war memorabilia, antiques from the days of the wild west, and plenty of dead animals hung with pride on the walls. This place is a cowboy’s paradise set on rolling hills surrounded by acres of livestock and grape vineyards. Uncle Lance’s latest addition? An early 1900s (ish) Santa Fe Train Car – the Caboose to be specific – converted into a little guest house and decked out with all sorts of neat Santa Fe “stuff” that my uncle collected from e-bay and other various places over the years. My uncle, never the underachiever, even had tracks laid for the caboose to sit on and a train station built around the whole thing. It was impressive to say the least.

Between chatting with the fam and drinking wine, Kyle and I played horseshoes and, thanks to some creative score keeping, I totally won! Afterwards, we feasted on steak and chicken and pie and then everyone – my mom and step dad, Dallas, Uncle Danny (my mom’s brother), Uncle Lance and Aunt Nina, my step-cousins, Jessica and Keith, and the neighbors, Ruth and Roger, all gathered around a roaring fire to drink wine, talk, and laugh until way past our bedtimes.

The next morning, my sister and her boyfriend, Drew, arrived and we all sat down to a delicious Easter brunch – ham, quiche, fruit salad, and way too many chocolate Easter eggs. Stuffed to the brim, we decided we were in need of some physical activity. And what better way to burn calories that to shoot guns. No? We had an absolute blast (pun intended) shooting clay pigeons with shotguns and trying to hit a target with various pistols and hand guns. For the record, I am WAY better with a shotgun than I will ever be with a hand gun. I don’t think I could the broad side of a barn with a hand gun let alone a target, an animal, a bad guy trying to rob my house, or anything other than the ground 10 feet in front of me or the air 20 feet above whatever I’m aiming at.

After the guns, we played some bocce ball (and yes, the court was filled with real crushed oyster shells – no detail is overlooked at the Last Buck Ranch) and then took off on ATVs down to the barn where we saddled up 5 horses for a ride. Kyle, Caitlin, Drew, Jessica, and I rode for over an hour past cows and steers and row after row of wine grapes. At the top of one hill we could see for a zillion miles in all directions. It was absolutely breathtaking – definitely one of those moments that I will treasure forever.

A bit sunburned and parched we rode back to the house, gave the horses a quick bath, and then got cleaned up ourselves. We had packed just about all the fun we could have into one weekend and it was time to kiss the fam goodbye and head back to the real world. Kyle and I got home around 7 pm, tired yet refreshed and feeling truly blessed.