I Am So Not The Glue

For those that don't know, I live with boys. Two boys. Two random boys that I met on the internet. Strangers. Not only to me, but to each other too. One of whom isn't even from this country! Yes, I live with strange foreign boys that I met on the internet. No, my mom is not a fan. And uh, I'd really appreciate it if no one told my dad.

It all started out with weeks of searching various roommate websites. I originally wanted to live with girls, but this is Man Jose, and, let's face it, quality women are few and far between here. I finally narrowed my selection down to Glenn and Mark. I emailed each of them individually. Glenn and I had several great email conversations. Mark and I had several great email conversations. Everything was looking good. But I was weary about introducing Glenn and Mark. Sure, they each got along fine with me, but would they get along with each other???
A week before we signed the lease... "Glenn meet Mark, Mark meet Glenn. Please be friends."

Have you ever introduced two friends from different circles to each other? Part of you really wants them to hit it off... but another part of you secretly hopes that you'll always be better friends with each of them than they ever will be with each other. That way they'll always need you. You'll be like the friendship glue.

Well, we can't always have what we want.

Not only are Glenn and Mark friends, they're GREAT friends! They hang out like every night. They have adventures... without me! In fact, at the moment, Glenn, Mark, and a bunch of their other friends are in Costa Rica. (!!!) WITHOUT ME!

The nerve! I'm so not the glue! I'm not even tape. I'm superfluous packing material at best.
:(

My Mother, Ladies And Gentlemen

This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I had my first-ever bloody nose. (Gross, I know.) Being that it was my first-ever bloody nose, I did what any other mature, responsible, adult would do... I freaked out and called my mommy. The following ensued:

Mommy, I have a bloody nose! What do I do???
Put some tissue up your nose, tilt your back, and wait for it to stop.
Ok, thanks. (<- Note: this is where the conversation should have ended.)
A bloody nose? How did that happen? Were you picking your nose?
Picking my nose!? Ewe, no. (I was blowing my nose, thank you very much.)
Hmmm, I wonder why your nose is bleeding?
Well I went camping this weekend at a pretty high altitude, and it was really dusty.
Oh, that must be it. Camping huh!? Where did you go?
Eagle Lakes.
Is there a campground there?
Nope, just a lake and a forest. It was really fun. Me, Dave, Todd, Tina...
(interrupts) Did you poop in the woods?
... What?
No campground means no potty... so I'm assuming you pooped in the woods. Personally, I like to find a tree that's fallen over and sit on it.
Ummm, ok.
So did you poop in the woods?
Well, we only camped one night, so, as it turns out, pooping in the woods wasn't an issue for me.
Have you pooped since you got home?
What?! Umm, I don't know. I don't really keep a diary on that sort of thing.
You know, you really should poop every day.
Ok, I'll keep that in mind.
I'm serious; my esthetician told me that it's really bad for your skin to not poop everyday.
Ok.
So when you see people with bad skin... it's probably because they're not pooping regularly.
... ok.
You should try eating prunes if your having problems.
!! I'm not having problems !!
I'm just saying, they're tasty and they're really good for you... why wouldn't you eat them?
Ok mom, I'll get some prunes.
I'm not saying you HAVE to get prunes, I just think they're yummy... and they'll help you poop.
Mom, my face is bleeding at the moment and we're talking about poop. Can I call you later?
Of course dear.

Later... my mom calls me at work on my cell phone.

Hi Honey, how's your nose?
All better now, thanks.
Oh good, because I called your desk a little bit ago and you didn't answer, so I thought maybe you were in the hospital with a brain hemorrhage.
I don't answer my phone and your first assumption is brain hemorrhage?
Well, I don't know... I just worry, that's all.
*sigh*... I appreciate it, thank you.
Have you pooped yet?
Goodbye mom.

Selfish Me Says Hooray!

One of my bestest friends in the whole world, the girl I shared a room and a million secrets with for FOUR years in college, ISN'T MOVING TO ISRAEL. YAY!!!

Ok, so I wanted to be the good supportive friend who was totally behind her best friend going to a super kick-ass medical school in Israel. It's a great opportunity, an excellent program, and, oh my, what an adventure!! Unselfish me was totally there for her, 100%.

But then there's selfish me. Selfish me is small, and usually quiet, and isn't allowed to play outside without adult supervision. Don't get me wrong, she sneaks out from time to time - very mischievous that selfish me is - but I do try to keep a tight leash on her. Anyway, selfish me was VERY sad that her best friend was moving away to the other side of the planet - but she said nothing. (See the control I have over her!)

Well, as it turns out, said best friend was recently accepted into a fantastic medical school in VIRGINIA! Yep, right here in our very own contiguous United States!!! After much soul searching, Sara (the bff in question) decided to take the opportunity in Virginia.
Unselfish me - "I'm so proud of her! Wherever she goes, she'll be fantastic. And I will totally visit her."

Selfish me - "Hooray!!!!! My best friend will only be three time zones away! And now I might ACTUALLY visit her."

Is that wrong? I hate being selfish. At the end of the day I really do want what's best for Sara. But if two choices are equally good and one choice keeps her closer to me, I'm allowed to like that choice better, right?

Fantastic

http://moon.google.com/

Zoom in all the way.
(I'm so easily entertained.)

Well *Now* I'm Numb

So I go to have a cavity filled today and my dentist informs me that some people get their cavities filled without Novocain. Yay for them, I think, drug me please!

Apparently my cavity was really small and Mr. Dentist thought I might be a good candidate for some drug-free drilling... so he pokes at my un-numbed tooth. It turns out I am quite possibly the WORST candidate ever for drug-free drilling. I scream in pain and we decide to take the Novocain route. He gives me a shot, and then we wait for the numbness to take over. Except that it's NOT taking over. I can still feel my whole mouth!!! I inform him of the situation and he says, "Well, let's find out..."

"OWWWWW!"
"Ok, you're not numb yet... let's give you a second shot and wait a few more minutes."
Shot... wait... drill...
"OWWWWW!"
"Maybe we'll wait just a few more minutes..."

So we wait, and wait, and wait some more.

FINALLY we decide that I'm numb enough and the cavity gets filled. Mind you it *did* hurt a bit, but I felt like such a baby by this point that I decided not to say anything.

I thank Mr. Dentist and am on my way... out in the parking lot... into my car... start driving back to work... then it hits me!

My mouth is NUMB... my tongue is NUMB... my cheek is numb, my neck is numb, and I'm pretty sure my left ear's not feeling quite right. Help! I feel like my face is actually going to fall off! In retrospect, maybe that second shot was not the best of all possible ideas. I start laughing, and my mouth feels absolutely ridiculous, so I laugh more, and then I start drooling and, well, it wasn't pretty. HELP!

So I'm back at work now, trying to eat the oh-so-yummy turkey and avocado sandwich that I made this morning, (not that I can taste it with all the numbness, but it smells really yummy) and people are looking at me like a have down syndrome. :( Ahrhghgahgh. (<- What I sound like when I talk) Sheesh! Next time I am sooo going the laughing gas route.

Fort

So my roommate, Glenn, bought a 61-inch television. By the way, it's fantastic, size does matter.... but that's not the point... The point is that the TV came in a box... a really big box... a box, shockingly, large enough to hold a 61" TV. So what does one do with a box that big??? One builds a fort! No? Am I alone here? Glenn got his TV a while ago and has been saving the box. I assumed that said box was being saved for some serious fort building. I assumed wrong. Glenn's plan is to just throw a perfectly good fort box away. :( This saddens me. Are we too old for forts? Have we become so jaded in our adult lives that fort building no longer holds the awe and splendor that it once did? It's such a shame. I'm finally to a point in my life where I could probably build a pretty kick-ass fort (years of engineering training coupled with the fact that I can play with scissors without adult supervision) but now I'm stuck being a grown-up - read: too old for forts. Bummer.

Naked

:( I couldn't find my cell phone this morning and was therefore forced to go to work without it. I feel so naked! Totally and completely vulnerable and detached from the rest of the world. AND the battery in my watch died... so now I'm naked and I have no idea what time it is... it's like I'm in college all over again!

The Big Ba-Booms

When we were little, my sister and I would go to our grandparents' house every Fourth of July. Caitlin would hide in her room, under her green blankie, and cry about how scary the Big Ba-Booms were. I, on the other hand, would get as close as humanly possible to where they were setting the fireworks off so I could see, hear, and feel the firework display in full force. The bigger and louder, the better. Caitlin has since gotten over her irrational fears, but I still can't seem to get enough of the fiery explosions in the sky followed by the solid BOOM that hits your whole body at once. Fireworks RULE!

This year's Forth of July was spent in a cottage in the woods in Hale, Michigan - also known as nowhere-ville USA. Luckily the cottage is on a lake and we had plenty of water toys to keep us entertained. It was me, Dave, and another couple in the cottage, and 2 couples, a single guy, and a dog camped out in the front yard. Yes, we had nine people and one bathroom... again, thank goodness for the lake. Anyway, while Hale doesn't have a LOT to offer besides a few lakes and a Lutheran Summer Camp, they did have some excellent fireworks.

Saturday, we drank Miller High Life - the Champaign of beers - all day. I got WASTED, took a nap, and then woke up sober just in time to eat ice cream and watch fireworks at the local High School that night. Excellent day!

Sunday, everyone and their mother set off their own fireworks at the lake. And we're not talking wimpy, California, let's not start a forest fire, fireworks... We're talking SERIOUS, visible for a mile, blow your hand off, Michigan fireworks. We bought ours from guy who literally had a "shed out back" where he kept them... as he leads us back to it, he says, "If anyone asks, you bought these in Ohio." As I stepped into the shed my eyes lit up... hello Ohio! We spent a small fortune and then were on our way. That night I felt like I was at the beaches of Normandy... there were explosions, it rained ash, the sky was lit up and filled with smoke, and, of course, there was sound of Ba-Boom! every few seconds for over an hour. It was fantastic! (A bit scary, but fantastic.)

Monday night, we went to Tawas, a few towns over, and had the BEST spot ever for watching the fireworks! I could actually SEE the guys with the flares lighting the fireworks (and then ducking for cover). SO Big, SOOOO Loud, SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much Fun. Even in the rain. (Yes, it rained... apparently no one in Michigan got the memo that IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO RAIN IN JULY!!!)

Anyway, so I felt like I got THREE Fourth of Julys for the price of one, Score! Of course that price was spending NINE days in Michigan... which, let me tell you, can cost you a lot in terms of sanity... but it was good trip, and I'm glad I went. Hooray for the Big Ba-Booms!