Oh Come On!

The saga with the hotel continues... what saga you ask? Oh right. I wrote (and then deleted) a whole long pity post about how the San Mateo Marriott RUINED my wedding by allowing some stupid convention to swoop in and book EVERY SINGLE AVAILABLE ROOM in the entire hotel (all 325 of them!) that my guests were supposed to be staying at. Leaving me with just the original 25 rooms I reserved. I specifically ASKED if I should reserve more rooms, but the stupid lady handling my block ASSURED me that they were not even close to selling out and that they certainly didn't predict a sell-out and that she would call me if anything changed. Well, they did sell out, and she didn't call me. In fact, she didn't even KNOW that her entire hotel was being taken over by a convention. She's absolutely terrible at her job and hate her with a white hot passion. Basically, half my bridal party doesn't have hotel rooms at my hotel now, and they're having to stay 2 miles away, and they'll have to take cabs back and forth all weekend. So annoying. This 90% the fault of the stupid-stupid hotel... but also 10% the fault of my dear friends who procrastinated like crazy and didn't even TRY to book a hotel until the very last second. (p.s. had they booked just a few days earlier all of this heart-ache would have been avoided.) Anyway - so yeah, I spent about week in woe-is-me land basically moping around saying nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms. And I wrote a big "why does everything terrible happen to me!!!????" post. And, upon finishing it, I realized I was being a whiny self-absorbed brat. So I deleted it. I'm (mostly) over the whole situation now. But ANYWAY - there is a reason I'm telling you all this back story...

As I said, the saga with the hotel continues. I was talking to the lady at the hotel (whose eyeballs I'd like to stab out) the other day and she says, "So I should probably warn you about the convention that is taking over the hotel" And I'm like, "k....." And she's like "Well... it's sort of like a comic book convention and a star trek convention mixed together... the convention goers are fans of these comics and they are VERY dedicated, and they tend to dress up in very elaborate costumes, and really get in to character. So I just wanted to warn you, so you weren't caught off guard." And I'm thinking, "Great, so while I'm taking wedding pictures, some dude dressed as batman will be sitting in the hotel bar. Awesome."

Oh well - it'll make for some good stories at the reception, right?

Well - I looked it up online today, and it turns out that the convention is actually none other than the west coast's one and only Y.aoi-Con - "a celebration of male beauty and passion in A.nime and M.anga."

*blink blink*

Seriously?

SERIOUSLY!!!???

Beautiful cartoon men, being celebrated... by people in elaborate costumes? WHAT???

Note that there is a whole section on the website that specifically points out that Yaoi, "which has become a catchall term to indicate any story that includes a male/male relationship and is linked to Japan", is not porn. Uhhhhh, the fact that they have to point this out, to me means that it is, in fact, PORN!! The website also points out that the convention is strictly 18 and over and that much of the material is very sexually explicit. Hello - PORN!!!!

Yes. On my wedding day, I will be sharing a hotel with 325 rooms worth of people (probably like 600+ people!!!) in elaborate costumes, coming together to celebrate sexually explicit cartoon Porn.

Kill me. Kill me right now.

You can read all about it right here: http://www.yaoicon.com/what-is-yaoi-/

Did you read it? Did you note the part about it being made by women, for women? Really? Guy on guy, by women for women? Really?

My wedding is in 9 days.... and my hotel is going to be filled devout female fans of Japanese, male on male, cartoon porn. And they're going to be dressed in elaborate costumes.

I couldn't make my life up if I tried.

Dude! We Can All Hear You

So I'm standing in line in the cafeteria at work (have I mentioned that I have soup and salad from our cafeteria almost EVERY SINGLE DAY!? I bore myself to tears just thinking about it...) But anyway, I'm standing in line and this guy gets in line right behind me. He's on his cell phone (which I find pretty rude to begin with, can't he just wait till AFTER he's paid for his food... is his call THAT important that he has to share it with the whole line?)

In a perfectly audible voice, with no apparent regard for the rest of the people in line, dude has the following (half of a) conversation:

Well, we're both crazy. (...pause...) crazy about each other. (Wait what? Did I just hear that right?)

This whole thing is crazy. (Yes, and you, sir, are crazy for having a mushy conversation in the lunch line.)

I miss you so much... I just miss you all the time. (Oh gag, if he starts in with 'no I love *you* more' I'm ripping that phone out if his hands.)

Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard. (...pause...) You have no idea how hard it is. (Please God let him be referring to a level of difficulty and not sometime ENTIRELY inappropriate for a LUNCH LINE!!!!)

I know, I know... I just wish you were here right now. (Funny, I wish I were ANYwhere else.)

I just want to put my arms around you and hold you and... you know. (NO NO NO!!! I don't know. Please stop talking.)

You know, my friends think I'm nuts. Maybe I am nuts. This whole thing is just so nuts. (YES! You are most definitely nuts! Please please get off the phone!)

You're all I can think about these days. (Obviously...)

Luckily it was then my turn to pay. So I paid and I ran away and I was thus spared the remainder of the conversation, which, as I glanced over my shoulder as I left the cafeteria, appeared to still be going on several minutes later. Seriously, what the heck was wrong with that guy?????