Dude! We Can All Hear You

So I'm standing in line in the cafeteria at work (have I mentioned that I have soup and salad from our cafeteria almost EVERY SINGLE DAY!? I bore myself to tears just thinking about it...) But anyway, I'm standing in line and this guy gets in line right behind me. He's on his cell phone (which I find pretty rude to begin with, can't he just wait till AFTER he's paid for his food... is his call THAT important that he has to share it with the whole line?)

In a perfectly audible voice, with no apparent regard for the rest of the people in line, dude has the following (half of a) conversation:

Well, we're both crazy. (...pause...) crazy about each other. (Wait what? Did I just hear that right?)

This whole thing is crazy. (Yes, and you, sir, are crazy for having a mushy conversation in the lunch line.)

I miss you so much... I just miss you all the time. (Oh gag, if he starts in with 'no I love *you* more' I'm ripping that phone out if his hands.)

Yeah, it's hard. It's really hard. (...pause...) You have no idea how hard it is. (Please God let him be referring to a level of difficulty and not sometime ENTIRELY inappropriate for a LUNCH LINE!!!!)

I know, I know... I just wish you were here right now. (Funny, I wish I were ANYwhere else.)

I just want to put my arms around you and hold you and... you know. (NO NO NO!!! I don't know. Please stop talking.)

You know, my friends think I'm nuts. Maybe I am nuts. This whole thing is just so nuts. (YES! You are most definitely nuts! Please please get off the phone!)

You're all I can think about these days. (Obviously...)

Luckily it was then my turn to pay. So I paid and I ran away and I was thus spared the remainder of the conversation, which, as I glanced over my shoulder as I left the cafeteria, appeared to still be going on several minutes later. Seriously, what the heck was wrong with that guy?????