See! I TOLD You I Don't Look Strong

*title refers to #19 on my 100 Things About Me list.

I've always known that I don't look especially buff - but man! I must have "pathetic weakling" written all over my face.

About a week ago, I broke down and bought a furminator online. (I've heard fantastic!! things about this un-fantastic looking little metal hairbrush for cats... p.s. I used it on one of my three cats last night - my other two were feeling too feisty to be brushed - and it was only for a few minutes (as I wasn't especially prepared to deal with the zillion pounds of cat fur that this hairbrush promises to remove) so I'll refrain from singing the furminator's praises or exposing it as an over-priced fraud just yet.)

ANYway - about a week ago, I broke down and bought a furminator online. But in order to get free shipping, I had to spend at least $50, and since the furminator was only $29.99 (Good gracious - did I just type the word "only" in front of $29.99????? Did I REALLY spend THIRTY dollars on a kitty-cat hair brush???? This better be the best darn hairbrush in the history of hairbrushes!) ANYway - since the furminator was, ahem, *only* $29.99... I had to spend an additional $20. And darn it - food and cat litter don't count towards the free shipping $50 minimum. Boooooooooooooo. So what else do I need for my cats???? $20 worth of fake mice??? I clicked through the pages until - a ha! - a new scratching post! The kitties could TOTALLY use a new scratching post. (Heaven knows I am NOT moving the heinous looking eye-sore that they currently sharpen their claws on to our new house.) And looky-here: they had an uber fancy scratching post ON SALE!!!! Originally $69.99... marked down to $49.99! (Such a DEAL! How could I NOT buy it??? Right?) So... in order to save $8 in shipping and handling (which really is WAY too much money to ship a freakin' hairbrush!) I spent an additional $50 on an over the top fancy-shmancy scratching post. Am I their sales team's dream customer or what?? Ugh.

So - yesterday my furminator and scratching post arrived. Hooray! I had them both shipped to my office because it's just WAY easier to get packages there. Anyway, when I left for the day I picked up my two boxes and started to walk out of the office. Now, while the boxes weren't exactly heavy, they were a bit unwieldy - the scratching post, for example, is almost 3 feet tall and the furminator comes wrapped in way too much packaging in order to make it seem worth thirty whole dollars. Well, I guess I looked a bit pathetic trying to carry the two boxes out of my office because one of my co-workers saw me walking towards him and immediately dropped what he was doing and offered to help.

Co-Worker: Oh wow - do you need some help with those?
Me: Huh? Oh, no. I got it. But thanks.
Co-Worker: Are you sure? I'm happy to help.
Me: No, thanks for the offer, but I got it. It's not as heavy as it looks.
Co-Worker: Really? Are you sure? It's no problem for me.
Me: I know - and thank you - but I got it. There's no need for you walk ALLLLLLL the way down to my car with me. I'll be fine. Seriously. Thank you.
C0-Worker: Um. Ok.

And with that he let me go. Although he looked very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

Then I get out to the street and start walking to my car. (note: I park about a block away from my office.) As I'm walking, a man in a car driving by suddenly slows down, rolls down his window and begins to offer me help.

Man: Excuse me. Do you need some help with those boxes?
Me: Huh? Um, no. Thanks. I'm fine.
Man: Are you sure? They look really heavy.
Me: I got it. Really. They're not heavy. Just awkward. Thank you though.
Man: Are you sure?
Me: Yes. I'm sure. Thank you.

And with that he drove away... about 100 yards.... and then he turned around and drove BACK to me to once again offer assistance.

Man: Are you SURE you don't need any help? How far are you walking with those?
Me: Just to my car. It's right there. I'm fine. Really. Thanks. I'm fine.
Man: I can carry them for you.
Me: I know. But really. They're not heavy - they're just bulky. Really. I appreciate it. I'm Ok. I don't need help. Thank you, though.
Man: Um. Ok.

And then, looking very uncomfortable with the situation, the man slowly drove away.

Dear Me! How pathetic do I look??? I think to myself as I approach my car, glad to finally almost be there. When I'm about 20 feet away, a homeless man across the street, pushing a shopping cart filled with all of his worldly possessions, notices me and my boxes.

Homeless Man: Excuse me, Miss, do you need some help with those?
Me: (Really???) Nope. Thanks though. I got it.
Homeless Man: I can help you carry them.
Me: I really got them. It's fine. This is my car right here. Thanks anyway.
Homeless Man: Are you sure?
Me: Yep. This is me. Right here. I'm done carrying them now. But thank you.

And with that I placed my boxes on top of the trunk and got my keys out of my purse.

Just as I was about to pick the boxes up and place them in my car, the homeless man came over.

Homeless Man: Please let me help you. Let me put them in your car for you. Where do want the boxes?
Me: (defeated) *sigh* In the back seat would be lovely.

And so, apparently happy to be of service, the man smiled, picked the boxes up off my trunk and placed them into my backseat. I thanked him. He said it was no problem and wished me a good evening. And then he went back to his shopping cart and walked away. And I got in my car and drove home.

When I got home I informed Kyle of the boxes in my car and I asked if he could please carry them upstairs for me. Mostly because I like it when he does manly things like carry boxes for me, but also because I feared the entire neighborhood might otherwise come rushing out out of their homes to offer me assistance.

We're Homeowners!!!!!!!!!!!

Another email from Cathy:

Hi All,

Congratulations, you are on record. We will mail out your final closing statements and any excess funds as soon as possible.

Thanks very much for the opportunity to handle your escrow. Please consider us again for your next transaction.

Best regards,

Cathy

We are now OFFICIALLY HOMEOWNERS!!!!! YAYAYAYYAYAY!!!!

We are also now officially poor and officially in more debt that I can even fathom... but let's not focus on that part. Let's focus on the homeowner part, 'mmk?

Homeowners!!!! American Dream!!!! I pay my taxes!!! Get off my lawn!!!!!! And all that jazz.

:)

24 Hours To Go...

Another day and another email from our Escrow Agent (p.s. I heart her!)

Hi Kyle and Courtney,

[Your Credit Union] has confirmed they are funding today, and your escrow will record tomorrow. I’ll let you know tomorrow as soon as we are on record (probably just before noon) and then you can open the champagne.

Best regards,

Cathy

In roughly 24 hours Kyle and I will be HOMEOWNERS!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow.

So Close!!

Got this email from our escrow officer today:

Hi Kyle and Courtney,

I have all the signed seller’s documents, and I just heard from the insurance agent. The only item still outstanding to get your loan to fund tomorrow is a current paystub (within the last 30 days) for Kyle.

Thanks,

Cathy

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Now mind you, Kyle has sent the guy handling our loan (at our credit union) his most current pay stub like 5 million times. Not to mention the fact that Kyle has his pay check deposited DIRECTLY into that credit union every week - so theoretically, the loan guy should have access to EVERY paycheck that Kyle has ever received... but whatever. He's obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed. Regardless, come Friday, it looks like we'll actually have KEYS TO OUR NEW HOME!!!!!! Holy Crap.

Inching Ever Closer

Another milestone... Kyle and I signed (about eleventy-million) loan and homeowner documents at the title company today. Eeeee! Man, they make you sign for EVERYTHING. We even had to sign a piece of paper that said, in the event of a clerical error, we promise to come back in and RE-SIGN everything. Ugh. And they took fingerprints. And made photo copies of our drivers licences. It was intense and took almost a whole hour. A WHOLE HOUR of signing my name over and over and over again. And I couldn't just do my normal signature that consists of my first initial and a few letters of my last name. No, no. I had to write out Courtney A. NewLastName. 9 million times. My hand was cramping by the end of it. But we got through it!

Now all we need is for the seller to sign the 2 inch stack of papers and to find some freakin homeowners insurance (which, p.s. is turning out to be another nightmare in and of itself because in addition to finding coverage for our unit, we also have to find coverage for the entire building and the HOA. Since this place JUST became a condo there never was an HOA before so there was never an HOA to insure. They just had one policy covering the entire 3 unit building. Now we need insurance for each unit AND insurance for the building/HOA. Ugh. And of course our credit union won't even consider funding our loan until we have all the insurance policies in place. Booooo.)

Close of escrow has officially been set for July 17. Fingers crossed that we make it.

In other, less frustrating, news check out how cute we are at the escrow office signing our house papers:
(thank goodness our escrow lady was awesome enough to take our picture... I can't imagine not having this moment on film SD Memory Card.... hmmm, doesn't have quite the same ring to it, huh? Oh well)

:)

Oh, and that beard that Kyle's sporting in the picture (his "Christmas Beard" that he likes grow every December...) is now gone. Gone! I came home from work this afternoon to find a naked faced man standing in my bathroom wearing nothing but socks and boxer shorts (b/c apparently hair was getting everywhere! Oh dear! I didn't ask for too many details...) holding a razor and inspecting his neck for stragglers. It caught me quite off guard. I love Kyle with a beard, but I'll admit I've missed snuggling up to his freshly shaved cheek. I was starting to worry that he was getting an early start on next Christmas! So yeah. He's all baby faced again. I'm enjoying it immensely.

Just My Luck

The rates came down AGAIN today. Ugh. I knew they would. I am so bad at this game. Oh well.

Woo-Hoo! More House Updates

Saga with the house buying continues...

Today is day 44 of escrow. Wow. To write it out doesn't seem like that much time, but to actually live it feels like a lifetime.

We FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY got the place converted to condo. (Hallelujah!) And then stuff really started happening. Suddenly our credit union was willing to give us the time of day. As well as a list of demands before they'd give us a loan.

• Borrower to schedule an Appraisal. Check.
• Property to appraise for purchase price. Check. (Whew!!!)
• Borrower to forward copy of new preliminary title report. Check
  
• Borrowers to provide a most recent paystub for each within 30 days prior to close of escrow. Check
• Borrower to request the title company provide us with their escrow and title fees or a preliminary HUD for the loan amount. Check
  
• Borrowers to provide title vesting prior to loan documents. (This one was basically Greek to me - but the kind folks at the escrow office seem have worked everything out...) Check. (I think?)
• Borrower to provide evidence of homeowners insurance coverage for the subject property. We're working on it...
• Title company to provide a 100.00 Endorsement on the Lender's Policy to cover the Credit Union for encroachments indicated on Items 9 and 10 of the preliminary title report dated 6/18/2009. (Huh??? I have no idea what this means.... but I THINK the title company is taking care of it??
• Co-Borrower/Spouse to sign all loan documents as "COURTNEY A. KYLESLASTNAME" (Thank goodness I changed my name before going through all this - apparently if I hadn't done it, it would have been a problem, and I would have had to use my maiden name and then I would have had to to change it later and blah more paperwork!)
• Borrowers to provide Section 1 Termite Clearance based on Termite Report dated 6/9/09. Ugh.... this one was the wrench.

See - we had a termite inspection done about a month ago. Told our bank it was all done. They said cool and then never mentioned it again. Fast forward a few weeks, and suddenly it's not enough to just have the inspection done... no no... now we have to get all the stuff that the inspector found FIXED. GAH! Why didn't someone mention this earlier??? There were a few days of absolute panic while we tried to schedule the work to get done and figure out who was supposed to pay for it (technically, the Seller is supposed to pay for it - but SF is usually such a hot market that Buyers buy places "as is" - which means that the Buyer pays to fix this sort of thing. It was only $2500 worth of damage - which, in the grand scheme of things, really isn't much - but for a few days it looked like the whole deal might fall though because of it. The sellers had already agreed to credit us 1/3 of the cost (b/c it's a 3 unit building and the termite report was for the whole building) ... and we were HAPPY to apply our third to get the repairs done. So it was just a matter of the sellers coming up with the remaining 2/3. (Roughly $1600.) Unfortunately, money is super tight on their end so it was looking like Kyle and I might have to LOAN them the $1600, and then they'd pay us back after escrow closed - which would have worked, but probably would have been a huge hassle. Luckily, they were able to scrape the cash together and we were able to schedule the contractor to come out right away and we got the whole mess taken care of. But it was a very stressful week. Sheesh. Work finished up yesterday afternoon and we received a clean bill of health from the inspector this morning. Whew. Glad that's over.

So now we're just waiting to get ourselves some homeowners insurance and I THINK we'll be all set. (Fingers Crossed!!!)

Oh AND!!! the interest rate came back down today to 5.25%!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more gambling. Kyle and I paid our $250 and locked in IMMEDIATELY. It'll probably drop down to like 3% tomorrow - because that's just how my stupid luck works - but I don't even care. I have been KICKING myself everyday for not locking in last time the rate hit 5.25% so I am SO RELIEVED that I got a second chance. :) I'll gladly take my bird in the hand and forgo the two in the bush, thankyouverymuch.

So yeah - that's where we stand with the house. It looks like escrow might close Thursday or Friday of next week. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.