Busted

So I didn't wear any makeup to work today and I was totally called out by a co-worker for the faint black eye that I've been sporting since the ridiculous, drunken celebration that was Kyle's friend Zaza's wedding this past Saturday in Chicago. D'oh.

Photos of the debauchery can be seen here.

Two of my faves:

Kyle and his boys


Kyle, Me, and Mr. B.Cady


So yeah - I partied so hard Saturday night that I managed to give myself a black eye. I can't say with certainty when exactly it happened, but I do recall lunging at B.Cady for a hug, missing, and then running head first into a nearby wall. Yeah, that may have done it.

Some day, I'll be too old for this sort of thing. Some day.

The Joys Of Homeownership…

So it all started when Kyle and I decided to put ourselves down as “Owner/Builder” on our building permit.

In San Francisco you can hardly pick your nose without a permit and so when our architect told us that the wall we wanted to tear down in our newly acquired condo was structural, we knew that we’d be spending some quality time downtown in the building permit office. On the building permit you have the option of putting your own name on the permit (in which case you are considered an “Owner/Builder”) or you can put down your contractor’s name. According to my architect, it didn’t REALLY matter whose name was put on the permit – especially for a job as small as ours. On the day that we got the permit we were 99.9% sure that we were going to go with a certain contractor, but, as long as it doesn’t matter whose name is on the permit… and as long as we’re not 100% sure… we figured we may as well just put our own names down.

Do you ever have moments in life that you REALLY wish you could do over?

Three days into the construction (which p.s. was only supposed to last 5 days), the building inspector came by the house to inspect the newly torn down wall. Upon inspection, he noticed that the light switch that had previously existed in the middle of the wall had been moved. (Well duh! We tore the wall down and it seems light switches aren’t especially good at hovering in empty space. They’re funny like that.) So the building inspector asks my contractor if we have an electrical permit for the moving of the light switch. And of course we didn’t, because does moving a light switch three feet to the left REALLY count as permit worthy electrical work?? (p.s. both my architect and my contractor thought no… but of course Mr. Building Inspector Man thought yes.) Great. Ok – so we need an electrical permit. How hard should that be, right?

So my contractor calls me up (this is Tuesday morning) and explains the situation to me and informs me that *I* have to get the electrical permit because it’s my name on the building permit as Owner/Builder. Ok. Fine. I can get a permit. So I go downtown to the Department of Building Inspection and I see a sign that says “All permits issued here. Please take a number.” Ok. So I take a number and I wait. And wait and wait. Typical. So then it’s my turn and I say, “Hello! I am here to get an electrical permit.” And the lady says, “Are you a contractor?” and I say, “No – but my name is on the building permit. I’m an Owner/Builder.” “Oh…. So you’re a homeowner?” “Yes!” (That has a nice ring to it, huh?) “Ohhhh… electrical permits for homeowners are issued on the third floor. We can’t help you here.” “WHAT!!?!? But it says ALL PERMITS ISSUED HERE.” “Yes, all permits except for electrical permits issued to homeowners.” (Are you freaking kidding me??? They need some better signage in this place.)

Ugh. Ok, third floor. I can do that.

So I go up to the third floor and say to the lady there, “Hi! I’m here to get an electrical permit! I’m a homeowner!” “Ok, let me just find the necessary paperwork, I’ll be right back.” And with that she disappeared for like 15 minutes. And then she came back to give me a status update that she was still searching for the necessary paperwork… it should be here somewhere… and then she disappeared for another 15 minutes. Why the necessary paperwork is not stored on her computer for easy printing at the click of a button is BEYOND me. As far as I can tell the SOLE purpose of the office on the third floor is to issue electrical permits to homeowners. But whatever.

So then she FINALLY comes back holding like two pieces of paper for me to fill out. (Really – it took you half an hour to find TWO MEASLY pieces of paper?? Ugh.) So she hands me the papers and I start filling them out and then she says, “So, it’s a single family home – right?” “Ummmm, no. It’s a condo. Does that matter?” “Ohhhhhh… yeah, we can only issue electrical permits to homeowners of single family homes. Or to contractors. But maybe they can help me on the first floor.

WHAT!?!?!?!?

So I go back to the first floor and talk to the information guy there. “Look, buddy, I need an electrical permit… and he starts to point me to the ALL PERMITS line… and I cut him off and tell him that I’m homeowner… and he starts to point me to the third floor… and I cut him off and tell him that I’m a homeowner of a condo… at which point he stops and thinks about it for a minute and then informs me that I cannot get an electrical permit.

WHAT?!?!

“You’ll have to send your contractor in… we can’t issue electrical permits to homeowners of condos.”

WHAT!?!?!?!?

“But I’m on the building permit as an Owner/Builder… you issued me building permit! Why can’t you issue me an electrical permit?”

“Sorry, we can only issue electrical permits to contractors.”

“So I can tear a structural wall down but I can’t move a light switch?”

“Yes”

Kill me.

So I call my contractor and tell him that *HE* has to go in. And he says, “I don’t think they’ll give me one with your name on the building permit as Owner/Builder.” So I call the city and ask “Is it ok for my contractor to get an electrical permit for me even though MY NAME to be on the building permit?” And they say, “Oh sure, that’s no problem… happens all the time.”

So my contractor goes downtown and waits in line and when it’s finally his turn he asks for the electrical permit. And they look up the building permit and see my name on there and they tell him that they yes, indeed they CAN give him an electrical permit… BUT not without written consent from the Owner/Builder. (WHAT!!!???? Why didn’t you say that when I called and specifically asked!!??? Besides, don’t the two hours I spent there that morning count as consent??!!)

GAGH!

Ok… so *I* can’t get the permit without my contractor. And *my contractor* can’t get the permit without me…. Hmmm. A-HA! I have a plan. We decide that we’ll BOTH go downtown together. Together we’ll be unstoppable.

So we show up at the Permit office bright and early Wednesday morning at 7:30am and go directly to the third floor to the homeowner office. And they promptly send to the first floor. Ugh. Ok. Fine. But of course, on WEDNESDAYS the first floor has their staff meeting… which lasts until 9:30. So now we have 2 hours to kill. Gaaaah!

So we leave and come back at 9:30 and we take a number and we wait. And FINALLY it’s our turn and we get to the front of the line and I say, “Hi! I’m here for an electrical permit.” And she says, “Homeowners need to go to the third floor...” (Ha! I knew she’d say that) So I say, “I own a condo.” “Oh, then we’re gonna need to talk to the contractor.” (Ha! I’m prepared for this too!) “THIS gentleman here is my contractor.” (What else you got, lady?) “Well according to the building permit this is an Owner/Builder job – so we’re going to need consent from the owner in the form of letter” (and I swear she was about to say written in blood, on gold paper, notarized by the Pope.) And I say, “Look, I’m the owner/builder, he’s the contractor… this is me giving you my consent to issue the permit to him. I’ll sign any piece of paper you need me to but we are not leaving here without an electrical permit!” And so she locates a consent form (Ha! They have a form for this… we need a letter my a$$!) and I sign it and we start to move forward. (Finally!)

And we get as far as her asking my contractor for his license number. Which he gives her and she types into the system and then she says…. “Ohhhhhh, it says here that he’s a GENERAL contractor.” “And?” “And…. We can’t issue a single ‘specialized’ permit to a general contractor.” “What!?!?!” “Well, if all you need to do is move a light switch, then you really ought to hire an electrician.” BUT WE’RE NOT JUST MOVING A LIGHT SWITCH WE’RE TEARING DOWN A WHOLE WALL!!!!! “Oh, I see, well... Union rules prohibit us from issuing just an electrical permit to a general contractor. Wouldn’t be fair to the electricians. If you were hiring him for multiple jobs… say re-doing your bathroom AND moving your lightswitch… then THAT would be ok. A general contractor can pull multiple permits from different disciplines, but not just a single permit.” “Doesn’t having him TEAR DOWN MY WALL in addition to moving the light switch count as multiple jobs???” “Well… it WOULD have if it was HIS name on the building permit… but since it’s an Owner/Builder permit, it doesn’t count.” GAGHAHHAGHAGHAGHAGH!!!!!!!

“Ok – so what are my options?”

“Well, you can go find an electrician to move your light switch…. Or you can have your contractor pull multiple permits… to get around the Union rules.”

“Soooo.... you want me to pull a FAKE plumbing permit?”

“Or hire an electrician.”

Kill me.

“Fine. I’d like to add a toilet to my living room… please issue my contractor a plumbing permit in addition to the electrical permit.”

“Ok. No problem. Let’s see that’ll be $160 for the electrical permit, which allows you to install up to 10 electrical outlets/light switches/etc. and includes 1 free electrical inspection. And $160 for the plumbing permit.”

And then my contractor pipes in… “Wait – we need two electrical inspections. You always need two. One to see the interior electrical work, and one to see the finished job. We have to have two inspections.”

And the lady says, “No problem. Additional inspections can be purchased for $170 each.”

WHAT!!!??? I can get the permit AND one inspection for $160… but just an inspection for $170. How does that work? And why – if we NEED two inspections do you only include ONE!?!?!?

“Well, for larger jobs we include two free inspections… but for smaller jobs it just includes one. I’m not sure why… but you’re right, it doesn’t make much sense.”

“How large is a ‘larger’ job?”

“Well… 10-20 electrical outlets, for instance, is considered a larger job and so it includes two free inspections.”

“How much does that cost?”

“$240.”

“Ok – so I can install 1 measly outlet and have to pay for the additional inspection and it’ll cost me $160+$170 = $330. *OR* I can install TWENTY outlets and get two inspections included and it’ll cost me $240.”

“That is correct.”

WHO DOES THE MATH HERE!?!?!??!?!?

“Fine. In addition to my plumbing permit, I would like a permit to install 20 electrical outlets please instead of just 1.”

“Ok. Here you go.”

And with that she handed me the two permits.

Gah - moving this stupid light switch ended up costing me $400 (!!!!) and two days sitting downtown fighting with morons. On the upside, I can now install a toilet and 20 electrical outlets in my living room if I suddenly feel the need.

See! I TOLD You I Don't Look Strong

*title refers to #19 on my 100 Things About Me list.

I've always known that I don't look especially buff - but man! I must have "pathetic weakling" written all over my face.

About a week ago, I broke down and bought a furminator online. (I've heard fantastic!! things about this un-fantastic looking little metal hairbrush for cats... p.s. I used it on one of my three cats last night - my other two were feeling too feisty to be brushed - and it was only for a few minutes (as I wasn't especially prepared to deal with the zillion pounds of cat fur that this hairbrush promises to remove) so I'll refrain from singing the furminator's praises or exposing it as an over-priced fraud just yet.)

ANYway - about a week ago, I broke down and bought a furminator online. But in order to get free shipping, I had to spend at least $50, and since the furminator was only $29.99 (Good gracious - did I just type the word "only" in front of $29.99????? Did I REALLY spend THIRTY dollars on a kitty-cat hair brush???? This better be the best darn hairbrush in the history of hairbrushes!) ANYway - since the furminator was, ahem, *only* $29.99... I had to spend an additional $20. And darn it - food and cat litter don't count towards the free shipping $50 minimum. Boooooooooooooo. So what else do I need for my cats???? $20 worth of fake mice??? I clicked through the pages until - a ha! - a new scratching post! The kitties could TOTALLY use a new scratching post. (Heaven knows I am NOT moving the heinous looking eye-sore that they currently sharpen their claws on to our new house.) And looky-here: they had an uber fancy scratching post ON SALE!!!! Originally $69.99... marked down to $49.99! (Such a DEAL! How could I NOT buy it??? Right?) So... in order to save $8 in shipping and handling (which really is WAY too much money to ship a freakin' hairbrush!) I spent an additional $50 on an over the top fancy-shmancy scratching post. Am I their sales team's dream customer or what?? Ugh.

So - yesterday my furminator and scratching post arrived. Hooray! I had them both shipped to my office because it's just WAY easier to get packages there. Anyway, when I left for the day I picked up my two boxes and started to walk out of the office. Now, while the boxes weren't exactly heavy, they were a bit unwieldy - the scratching post, for example, is almost 3 feet tall and the furminator comes wrapped in way too much packaging in order to make it seem worth thirty whole dollars. Well, I guess I looked a bit pathetic trying to carry the two boxes out of my office because one of my co-workers saw me walking towards him and immediately dropped what he was doing and offered to help.

Co-Worker: Oh wow - do you need some help with those?
Me: Huh? Oh, no. I got it. But thanks.
Co-Worker: Are you sure? I'm happy to help.
Me: No, thanks for the offer, but I got it. It's not as heavy as it looks.
Co-Worker: Really? Are you sure? It's no problem for me.
Me: I know - and thank you - but I got it. There's no need for you walk ALLLLLLL the way down to my car with me. I'll be fine. Seriously. Thank you.
C0-Worker: Um. Ok.

And with that he let me go. Although he looked very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

Then I get out to the street and start walking to my car. (note: I park about a block away from my office.) As I'm walking, a man in a car driving by suddenly slows down, rolls down his window and begins to offer me help.

Man: Excuse me. Do you need some help with those boxes?
Me: Huh? Um, no. Thanks. I'm fine.
Man: Are you sure? They look really heavy.
Me: I got it. Really. They're not heavy. Just awkward. Thank you though.
Man: Are you sure?
Me: Yes. I'm sure. Thank you.

And with that he drove away... about 100 yards.... and then he turned around and drove BACK to me to once again offer assistance.

Man: Are you SURE you don't need any help? How far are you walking with those?
Me: Just to my car. It's right there. I'm fine. Really. Thanks. I'm fine.
Man: I can carry them for you.
Me: I know. But really. They're not heavy - they're just bulky. Really. I appreciate it. I'm Ok. I don't need help. Thank you, though.
Man: Um. Ok.

And then, looking very uncomfortable with the situation, the man slowly drove away.

Dear Me! How pathetic do I look??? I think to myself as I approach my car, glad to finally almost be there. When I'm about 20 feet away, a homeless man across the street, pushing a shopping cart filled with all of his worldly possessions, notices me and my boxes.

Homeless Man: Excuse me, Miss, do you need some help with those?
Me: (Really???) Nope. Thanks though. I got it.
Homeless Man: I can help you carry them.
Me: I really got them. It's fine. This is my car right here. Thanks anyway.
Homeless Man: Are you sure?
Me: Yep. This is me. Right here. I'm done carrying them now. But thank you.

And with that I placed my boxes on top of the trunk and got my keys out of my purse.

Just as I was about to pick the boxes up and place them in my car, the homeless man came over.

Homeless Man: Please let me help you. Let me put them in your car for you. Where do want the boxes?
Me: (defeated) *sigh* In the back seat would be lovely.

And so, apparently happy to be of service, the man smiled, picked the boxes up off my trunk and placed them into my backseat. I thanked him. He said it was no problem and wished me a good evening. And then he went back to his shopping cart and walked away. And I got in my car and drove home.

When I got home I informed Kyle of the boxes in my car and I asked if he could please carry them upstairs for me. Mostly because I like it when he does manly things like carry boxes for me, but also because I feared the entire neighborhood might otherwise come rushing out out of their homes to offer me assistance.

We're Homeowners!!!!!!!!!!!

Another email from Cathy:

Hi All,

Congratulations, you are on record. We will mail out your final closing statements and any excess funds as soon as possible.

Thanks very much for the opportunity to handle your escrow. Please consider us again for your next transaction.

Best regards,

Cathy

We are now OFFICIALLY HOMEOWNERS!!!!! YAYAYAYYAYAY!!!!

We are also now officially poor and officially in more debt that I can even fathom... but let's not focus on that part. Let's focus on the homeowner part, 'mmk?

Homeowners!!!! American Dream!!!! I pay my taxes!!! Get off my lawn!!!!!! And all that jazz.

:)

24 Hours To Go...

Another day and another email from our Escrow Agent (p.s. I heart her!)

Hi Kyle and Courtney,

[Your Credit Union] has confirmed they are funding today, and your escrow will record tomorrow. I’ll let you know tomorrow as soon as we are on record (probably just before noon) and then you can open the champagne.

Best regards,

Cathy

In roughly 24 hours Kyle and I will be HOMEOWNERS!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow.

So Close!!

Got this email from our escrow officer today:

Hi Kyle and Courtney,

I have all the signed seller’s documents, and I just heard from the insurance agent. The only item still outstanding to get your loan to fund tomorrow is a current paystub (within the last 30 days) for Kyle.

Thanks,

Cathy

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!

Now mind you, Kyle has sent the guy handling our loan (at our credit union) his most current pay stub like 5 million times. Not to mention the fact that Kyle has his pay check deposited DIRECTLY into that credit union every week - so theoretically, the loan guy should have access to EVERY paycheck that Kyle has ever received... but whatever. He's obviously not the sharpest tool in the shed. Regardless, come Friday, it looks like we'll actually have KEYS TO OUR NEW HOME!!!!!! Holy Crap.

Inching Ever Closer

Another milestone... Kyle and I signed (about eleventy-million) loan and homeowner documents at the title company today. Eeeee! Man, they make you sign for EVERYTHING. We even had to sign a piece of paper that said, in the event of a clerical error, we promise to come back in and RE-SIGN everything. Ugh. And they took fingerprints. And made photo copies of our drivers licences. It was intense and took almost a whole hour. A WHOLE HOUR of signing my name over and over and over again. And I couldn't just do my normal signature that consists of my first initial and a few letters of my last name. No, no. I had to write out Courtney A. NewLastName. 9 million times. My hand was cramping by the end of it. But we got through it!

Now all we need is for the seller to sign the 2 inch stack of papers and to find some freakin homeowners insurance (which, p.s. is turning out to be another nightmare in and of itself because in addition to finding coverage for our unit, we also have to find coverage for the entire building and the HOA. Since this place JUST became a condo there never was an HOA before so there was never an HOA to insure. They just had one policy covering the entire 3 unit building. Now we need insurance for each unit AND insurance for the building/HOA. Ugh. And of course our credit union won't even consider funding our loan until we have all the insurance policies in place. Booooo.)

Close of escrow has officially been set for July 17. Fingers crossed that we make it.

In other, less frustrating, news check out how cute we are at the escrow office signing our house papers:
(thank goodness our escrow lady was awesome enough to take our picture... I can't imagine not having this moment on film SD Memory Card.... hmmm, doesn't have quite the same ring to it, huh? Oh well)

:)

Oh, and that beard that Kyle's sporting in the picture (his "Christmas Beard" that he likes grow every December...) is now gone. Gone! I came home from work this afternoon to find a naked faced man standing in my bathroom wearing nothing but socks and boxer shorts (b/c apparently hair was getting everywhere! Oh dear! I didn't ask for too many details...) holding a razor and inspecting his neck for stragglers. It caught me quite off guard. I love Kyle with a beard, but I'll admit I've missed snuggling up to his freshly shaved cheek. I was starting to worry that he was getting an early start on next Christmas! So yeah. He's all baby faced again. I'm enjoying it immensely.

Just My Luck

The rates came down AGAIN today. Ugh. I knew they would. I am so bad at this game. Oh well.

Woo-Hoo! More House Updates

Saga with the house buying continues...

Today is day 44 of escrow. Wow. To write it out doesn't seem like that much time, but to actually live it feels like a lifetime.

We FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY got the place converted to condo. (Hallelujah!) And then stuff really started happening. Suddenly our credit union was willing to give us the time of day. As well as a list of demands before they'd give us a loan.

• Borrower to schedule an Appraisal. Check.
• Property to appraise for purchase price. Check. (Whew!!!)
• Borrower to forward copy of new preliminary title report. Check
  
• Borrowers to provide a most recent paystub for each within 30 days prior to close of escrow. Check
• Borrower to request the title company provide us with their escrow and title fees or a preliminary HUD for the loan amount. Check
  
• Borrowers to provide title vesting prior to loan documents. (This one was basically Greek to me - but the kind folks at the escrow office seem have worked everything out...) Check. (I think?)
• Borrower to provide evidence of homeowners insurance coverage for the subject property. We're working on it...
• Title company to provide a 100.00 Endorsement on the Lender's Policy to cover the Credit Union for encroachments indicated on Items 9 and 10 of the preliminary title report dated 6/18/2009. (Huh??? I have no idea what this means.... but I THINK the title company is taking care of it??
• Co-Borrower/Spouse to sign all loan documents as "COURTNEY A. KYLESLASTNAME" (Thank goodness I changed my name before going through all this - apparently if I hadn't done it, it would have been a problem, and I would have had to use my maiden name and then I would have had to to change it later and blah more paperwork!)
• Borrowers to provide Section 1 Termite Clearance based on Termite Report dated 6/9/09. Ugh.... this one was the wrench.

See - we had a termite inspection done about a month ago. Told our bank it was all done. They said cool and then never mentioned it again. Fast forward a few weeks, and suddenly it's not enough to just have the inspection done... no no... now we have to get all the stuff that the inspector found FIXED. GAH! Why didn't someone mention this earlier??? There were a few days of absolute panic while we tried to schedule the work to get done and figure out who was supposed to pay for it (technically, the Seller is supposed to pay for it - but SF is usually such a hot market that Buyers buy places "as is" - which means that the Buyer pays to fix this sort of thing. It was only $2500 worth of damage - which, in the grand scheme of things, really isn't much - but for a few days it looked like the whole deal might fall though because of it. The sellers had already agreed to credit us 1/3 of the cost (b/c it's a 3 unit building and the termite report was for the whole building) ... and we were HAPPY to apply our third to get the repairs done. So it was just a matter of the sellers coming up with the remaining 2/3. (Roughly $1600.) Unfortunately, money is super tight on their end so it was looking like Kyle and I might have to LOAN them the $1600, and then they'd pay us back after escrow closed - which would have worked, but probably would have been a huge hassle. Luckily, they were able to scrape the cash together and we were able to schedule the contractor to come out right away and we got the whole mess taken care of. But it was a very stressful week. Sheesh. Work finished up yesterday afternoon and we received a clean bill of health from the inspector this morning. Whew. Glad that's over.

So now we're just waiting to get ourselves some homeowners insurance and I THINK we'll be all set. (Fingers Crossed!!!)

Oh AND!!! the interest rate came back down today to 5.25%!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more gambling. Kyle and I paid our $250 and locked in IMMEDIATELY. It'll probably drop down to like 3% tomorrow - because that's just how my stupid luck works - but I don't even care. I have been KICKING myself everyday for not locking in last time the rate hit 5.25% so I am SO RELIEVED that I got a second chance. :) I'll gladly take my bird in the hand and forgo the two in the bush, thankyouverymuch.

So yeah - that's where we stand with the house. It looks like escrow might close Thursday or Friday of next week. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Drat

Rates are back up. :( Oh well.

This is why I don't like Vegas...

Decisions Decision

Gah - Who knew that being a homeowner involved SO MANY decisions?

When Kyle and I started house shopping we also started watching the interest rate at our credit union. Man - that thing is a roller coaster ride, if ever I saw one!

At one point the rate for a no points, 30-year fixed loan got down to 4.875%. Oh how I wish we had locked in back then...

By the time Kyle and I found our place the rate had risen to 5%... and then to 5.1%... and then 5.25%... and by the time we actually got all of our paperwork together and locked in, the rate was up to 5.375%. I was SO SAD. The difference in our monthly mortgage payment with a 5.375% loan vs. a 5% loan is like $125/month. It's a pretty big deal. I cried a lot about it (in fact I may have actually bawled in the bathroom at work, b/c I'm a bit over dramatic like that) - but eventually I accepted that there was nothing I could do about it.

In the following weeks, the interest rate continued to rise. At one point it got as high as 5.9%!!! Sheesh! Suddenly 5.375% was looking pretty good. Over the weekend, however, the rates started coming back down. On Monday they were 5.5%. And then, today, we got news that the rate dropped to 5.25%. Woah.

Our credit union has a policy that, for a fee of $250, you can do a one time "re-lock". Which means that for $250, we could lock in, today, at 5.25%. Which would save us $44/month. Not HUGE money, but you know, it would cover my monthly cell phone bill. But we can only do it once...

So the big question is: do we re-lock today and save $44/month... or do we save our one-time re-lock and wait to see if the rate drops again for potentially more savings?? Locking today means a guaranteed $44 in my pocket every month... locking tomorrow or the next day or even next week could mean $0 but it could also mean $50 or $60 or $100 per month!

What to do??? What to do???

Toast

My beautiful baby sister got married this past weekend.... details and photos to follow. For now, I want to share the toast I gave at the reception - you know, just because I wasn't POSTING this weekend doesn't mean I wasn't letting my creative juices flow.

This photo, snapped by Kyle as Caitlin walked down the aisle, captures my emotion pretty well... so you can imagine what a tough time I had reading the toast. But I actually managed to hold it together pretty well through the whole thing. Although when they had their first dance (to dixieland delight) I totally lost it.



Anyway, enjoy.


"Hello and Good Evening! For those of you who don't know me, I’m Courtney, the very proud big sister of our glamorous Bride. I want to start out tonight by congratulating Caitlin and Drew on their amazing wedding. The perfect day and the perfect venue for an absolutely perfect couple, it is truly an honor to be part of such a special occasion.

I’d also like to thank all of you, Caitlin and Drew’s friends and family, for coming here today, to celebrate with us. I know it means the world to our bride and groom to have each and every one of you here.

Caitlin – I just have say – you look STUNNING today. Absolutely drop dead gorgeous. Drew is a lucky man. It seems like just yesterday that we’re were running a line of duct tape down the middle of our shared room to separate “My” side from “Yours”. It seems like yesterday that I’d be tickling you till you cried, and of course then you tell on me to mom and I’d get in trouble, because I’m older and apparently I should KNOW BETTER than to tickle a person to point of tears. When we were little and we’d fight our mom used say, “Oh you two, how can you fight??? It breaks my heart. Don’t you know how lucky your are to have a SISTER???” And while our mom does have a flair for the dramatic, she was right. I am the luckiest girl in the world to have Caitlin as a sister. For 26 years, she has been my sidekick, my sounding board, my shopping buddy, my favorite dance partner, my confidant, and my very best friend.

Now, I never knew Drew before he dated Caitlin, so I can't tell you a whole bunch of stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister. I remember, four years ago, Caitlin telling me about this boy she met at party, how cute he was, and how they instantly connected and chatted the night away as if they were the only two people in the room. I remember thinking that this boy was toast – he never stood a chance. He was “The One” for my little sister. Drew – you are such a great guy. Funny, smart, charming, an excellent beer pong player. I have never questioned for one moment your love for Caitlin. She is truly blessed to have found you. And I can honestly say that I feel blessed to now call you family.

Caitlin, Drew, you guys are soul mates. I wish you all the best that life has to offer.

Everyone, please raise your glasses while I toast my little sister and her new husband:

Here’s to soul mates. Here’s to the crazy roller coaster called life, and to finding that special someone to share the ride with. Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after.

Cheers!"

:)

House!!

I must admit I am hesitant to write about the house before escrow actually closes (that whole chickens before they hatch thing...) but I suppose I can throw just a bit of caution to wind as we received good news today on the paperwork front with respect the arduous escrow process. (Long story short, the unit we are buying is in the process of becoming a condo... And oh what a process it is! It is currently one third of a three unit building... which is NOT the same as being a one CONDO in a three unit building (as far as the city is concerned)... even though it has it's own front door and walls and address and gas meter and everything... it looks, and smells, and acts like a condo... but make no mistake, it is not a condo... yet. First we must jump through many many many paperwork hoops, and then must we smile really big, and ask the city REALLY REALLY nicely, and even go as far as to pay all of NEXT YEAR'S property taxes up front... and THEN, if we're lucky, the city of San Francisco will graciously bestow upon our unit the miraculous name of condo. At which point in time we can FINALLY get a mortgage loan. Ugh. And don't even get me started on the fact that, long before Kyle and I made an offer on this place, the current owners had to win a lottery just for the mere pleasure of applying and paying for the necessary permits in order to ATTEMPT to become a condo. Gahhhhh!)

Little know fact: The condo conversion process, in total, takes about 2 years... that is after you've won the condo-lottery, which can easily take 7 - 10 years... in those 2 years most people age about 15. It's true.

So anyway... we heard good news today that the Mr. Head Honcho at the title company was "issuing the Title Company Guarantee of the Condo Map today"... which is really just confusing jargon to me... but my real estate lawyer tells me it's good news and we are now mere days away from being a condo. (I think) Hooray! So escrow might actually close in my lifetime.

So anyway - that's the ugly back story. Now for the fun part. House details!!!!!

Assuming all continues to go well, Kyle and I will (eventually) be the proud owners of a 2 bedroom 1 bathroom middle floor condo in the Duboce Triangle neighborhood of San Francisco. (Eeeeee!) The building was built in 1906 - which means it's dripping with, ummm, we'll call it character. It even has the original (made in 1904 - stamped right on the bottom!) claw foot bathtub... which p.s. we will NOT be keeping, b/c I hate claw foot tubs. Sorry. (Although it does weigh 400 pounds, so I understand the previous owners' lack of enthusiasm for moving it.) The place is about 1220 sq. ft - which sounds big (to me) but really isn't once you start trying to find room for all your crap (for instance, the piano from my dad's house - ugh, where on earth am I gonna put that thing - I REALLY wish I had just played the flute as a child.) But anyway... there's a WONDERFUL yard (I think this was the biggest selling point for us) out back with some grass, and a plum tree, and a lemon tree, and a whole garden growing everything from herbs, to strawberries, to corn, to tomatoes, to peppers. I swear, Kyle is chomping at the bit to just get out there and get his hands dirty. It's so cute. :) So yeah, the yard rules and sorta makes up for the fact that the building doesn't have a garage (although it DOES have quite a bit of storage in the basement - which was a big requirement for me... because, well, have I mentioned all my CRAP??) The place also needs a new roof, which is annoying, but at least we get to split the cost between all three owners. And the unit itself desperately needs a good scrubbing and an interior paint job and we'll definitely be ripping up the hideous blue carpet that is currently covering up the original hardwood floors. (Hardwood floors - eeeee!!!)

So yeah - it'll be a bit of project house, but the projects seem manageable (I hope!) and the neighborhood is AMAZING and it was in our price range. We're pretty excited.

See the two windows in the middle here? Those will be ours. :)


And now some Q and A's, because I know you want to know.

1. How long have we been looking for a house?
Seriously looking? Since January. And by seriously looking I mean that during the past 5+ months, we've maybe missed 3 open house Sundays. We even saw places on Easter. EVERY Sunday morning we'd get up and pull together all the open house addresses we found during the week and we'd then diligently map out our route (some weekends we had as many as 10 places to see in 3 hours! Proper route planning was key.) Then we'd eat breakfast, get coffee, and be on our way for the rest of the afternoon to check the prospective places out.

2. Did we work with a real estate agent to find places we liked?
No. 99.9% of all real estate agents bug me. And between redfin.com and craigslist.com and my constant vigilance in watching for new For Sale signs in neighborhoods I liked, there really wasn't much information that a realtor could provide me that I couldn't get on my own. Plus they bug me. (Did I mention that?)

3. Is this the only offer we put in?
No. This house was the fourth place we liked enough to consider putting in an offer on. The first place was an amazing (and HUGE!!!) 2 unit building that we wanted to buy with another couple. I loved that place... but it really wasn't in our price range, and the building hadn't been split into condos yet - so financing would have been a pain in the butt. We (us and the other couple) put in an offer but we were out bid by a whopping $200,000. (Yes we were outbid by the cost of a WHOLE HOUSE in most parts of the country.) Defeat. The second place was a upper unit in a two unit building (also not yet a condo, but more reasonably priced.) The neighborhood was great but the floorplan was pretty disfunctional. We decided that we could knock down some walls and make it work and we actually had our offer accepted! Wheee!! But then we tried to get financing and the downstairs owners didn't have enough equity to convince the bank to refinance the loan (see - this is the problem when a place isn't a condo - you can't get individual loans for each unit. Instead you have to get a loan for the WHOLE building - which can sometimes be impossible.) So then we found place number three... place number three will live on forever in my heart as the one that got away. I LOVE LOVE LOVED place number three. HUGE (1600 sq ft), a CONDO!, AMAZING floorplan, garage, storage, yard, huge kitchen, beautiful hardwood floors and gorgeous wood trim throughout. I was instantly in love. Unfortunately so were 7 other people. We offered $21K ABOVE asking and were still outbid. (Probably by quite a bit.) Ugh. And then we found place number four and here we are. :)

4. Did we put offers in on places without a real estate agent???
We tried all sorts of different stuff. For place #1, we found an agent (after we found the place), and wrote an offer the old fashioned way. What's crazy is that she would have gotten the entire Buyer's agent commission for about a day and a half of work. (I am in the WRONG business!) For place #2, we decided to try using the listing agent on the condition that he kick back $5000 to us to help cover closing costs (which seemed fair since he'd be making double commision because he was acting as both the selling and listing agent.) For place #3, we used a redfin agent - which has the huge advantages of a.) the agents don't pester you by trying to find you a place to live and b.) to compensate for not pestering you, they give you HALF of their commision when the deal closes. AWESOME!!! For place #4, we decided to go it alone - I wrote the whole offer contract myself (it's NOT rocket science, in fact it's mostly just fill in the blanks!) We decided not to use an agent (not use even a redfin agent, even though we love them!) because we knew that there were other offers on the table for the place we wanted. And if we didn't have an agent, then the sellers wouldn't have to pay our agent - which meant they got to keep more money for themselves, which made our offer stronger without us having to actually offer more money. Plus, did I mention that it is NOT rocket science??

5. When will escrow close?
I have no freakin clue. Maybe 4 weeks? 6 weeks?? It all hangs on the place officially converting to a condo and then us getting financing for said condo. Booo.

House Details...

... will have to wait. Because first I need to laugh at myself.

Last night I went to happy hour after work and played wing-woman for a girlfriend of mine. We sat at the bar sipping Pinot Nior chatting about men and commenting on the handsome bar tender's cute butt. And then it hit me. "Huh" I thought to myself. "When did I start finding old men handsome?" I'm not just talking about older men here... but like actual, objectively OLD men. This bar tender was cute, but you know, he was old. (Sorta like George Clooney) He had the salt and pepper hair, the worn in "man-hands", and an air about him that said I may be old, but I'm sitll dashing, no?. And he was dashing, but that's beside the point. He was OLD! And I thought he was cute! Weird.

Well, fast forward to the end of the night and it turns out that I accidentally left my wallet at the bar. (If my head weren't firmly attached to my body, I swear...) So I called, and spoke to some kind soul, and was SUPER relieved to find out that they had in fact found my wallet and were keeping it safely behind the bar. Whew! (Insert "kindness of strangers remark" here.) The kind soul then pointed out that he, having seen the birth date on my driver's liscense, was exactly 1 day older than me. Neat!

So I head back to the bar and, upon entering, get the attention of Mr. Salt-and-Pepper OldieVonCute himself and inform him that I just called and spoke with someone who found my wallet and could he please retreive it for me from behind the bar. "Hey!" he smiles "It's the girl who is exactly one day younger than me!!" And then he said some other stuff while handing me my wallet that I didn't really pay any attention to because all I could think was:

WHAT!!!????? I am the SAME AGE as Mr. OldieVonCute????? GAH!

D'oh.

In An Effort to Sleep Better

So I haven't been sleeping especially well lately... Even though I go to bed at a reasonable hour, I wake up at least twice a night and feel completely unrefreshed in the morning. And then on weekends, I stay up late and wake up early and can't fall back asleep. I'm becoming zombie and it's getting to be quite annoying! Google tells me that sleeplessness is sign of, among other things, stress and recommends a whole plethora of stress-relieving activities... including exercising - which, p.s., I did for a WHOLE month and really just detested every minute of it, blech! - and eating well - which I do, thankyouverymuch - and keeping a journal. And then it occurred to me... I haven't been blogging especially well lately. Hmmmm. Could my lack of blogging be keeping me up at night??? I guess I had sort of taken for granted the splendid catharsis that is pouring my heart out to the interwebs... sigh.

What the heck - reason #452 that blogging rules... it might cure my sleeplessness. (Fingers crossed!)

On the upside I have TONS to blog about....

1. Workout April was a smashing success... I worked out every single day for 30 days straight... I even did situps and pushups while hung-over in my underwear on the kitchen floor of my BFF Kim's apartment in NYC. (I was out there for her bachelorette party - which by the way, was SOMUCHFUN!) But boy, May 1st could not get here soon enough. Ugh. I HATE working out. Hate hate hate. Actually - it's not so much the working out part I hate... it's the motivating myself to just get up and go do it part that kills me. I really should consider joining a group class of some sort so I'm FORCED to stick to the workout... of course signing up for the class falls into the whole motivation thing...

2. My sister is getting married in TEN DAYS! TEN DAYS!!!!!!! I'm so excited for the wedding. It's going to be amazing! My cousin is making the cake, my mom is making the food, the bridesmaids are doing the flowers... it's going to be a total group effort, and I couldn't be more excited about it. (Which is strange, b/c it's basically the EXACT OPPOSITE of how I did my own wedding... I really really really didn't want to "burden" anyone so I just did everything myself or hired strangers to do it for me. Weird that what I considered to be a "burden" for people for my wedding I'm totally excited about doing for someone else's wedding... hmmm... or maybe I just feared that friends and family somehow wouldn't do things as "perfect" as a hired professional might... although that's obviously crazy b/c I wasn't all that happy with my professional flowers... I ended up letting Kim's sister do most of my make-up... and my friend AJ took a whole slew of pictures that EASILY rival the "professional" ones that we paid for... so yeah - I'm crazy.)

3. Kyle and I are in escrow for a HOUSE!!!!! A HOUSE!!! Gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I've run the whole gamut of emotions on this one... and I will definitely definitely DEFINITELY write all about them... tomorrow. (Gotta ease back into this whole blogging thing, you know?) Stay tuned. A HOUSE!!! You know want the details! :)