Friday, April 25, 2008

Excuse Me, May I Borrow Your Cat?

I glance at my watch... 4 pm... the guests will be there in an hour. I'm in my wedding dress. Barefoot. No makeup. My hair is down and unstyled and ugly. I have no jewelry on.

First things first, I think. I HAVE to find to some earrings. No one around me seems to have any that will suffice. There's a Macy's a few miles from my house, I decide I can run there really quick and pick some up, and maybe a necklace. I drive to the mall... still in the wedding dress, mind you. And I'm barefoot. Ewe. I whoosh through the store and find a pair of earrings, but no necklace... I decide to make do with just the earrings. I wonder if people think it's weird that I'm shopping in a wedding dress. Maybe they don't know it's a wedding dress. Maybe they think I just like white. I purchase the earrings and head home. Once there, I try the earrings on... they are SOOOOO heavy. Seriously WAY too heavy. What are these things made of??? Fearing for my earlobes, I decide to forgo jewelry all together. Makeup! I need make-up. And Hair! What on earth am I going to do with my hair? How is my hair not done yet??? What was I thinking?

It's 4:30. I'm almost out of time. Quick! Something borrowed!!! I need something borrowed!!!!! A friend hands me her cat. "Here take this", she tells me. The cat is uncooperative at best, but he's all I've got, so I start heading down the aisle with poorly applied make-up and messy hair, clutching an awkward ball of claws and fur. It's disastrous.

And then I wake up. Sweating. Heart pounding. Anxious and then relieved. I've got 5 months and 2 days left. It's plenty of time. I will find earrings... not to mention a caterer and a florist and a DJ and invitations. Everything will be ok. I will not walk down the aisle holding someone's cat. Deep breaths, Courtney.

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