Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Preparing For A Lifetime Of Correcting People




Hmmmm - sure is dusty in here.


Well I'd better get to work sprucing the place up...


I don't know why I picked today of all days - but for whatever reason today just felt RIGHT. I grabbed my passport, my social security card and my marriage license and I trotted down to the Social Security Administration building. They opened at 9am, and by the time I walked in the door at 9:08 the place was PACKED. I took a number and waited. And waited. And waited. And waited. Drat. I should have brought a book. Or made an appointment.

At 10:37 they called my name. My maiden name. Hmmm - that'll probably be one of the last times that happens. Weird. But anyway, they called my name, and I walked up to the window and handed over the documentation that proved that I was currently Courtney K, and I was married to Kyle H last September. The lady at the window asked, completely nonchalantly, if I was just dropping my maiden name and replacing it with my married name. JUST DROPPING my maiden name??? Listen lady - I am HARDLY just dropping the name I've carried around proudly for 28 and a half years. This is not a WHIM. This is not some tiny decision. This is not like "just dropping off some clothes at goodwill." Just Dropping. Sheesh! I am making the VERY HUGE decision to give up a part of myself. I am deciding that I love my husband and his family so much that I want to carry on his name and pass it on to our children. I want to declare to the whole world that he and I are now a family. Husband and Wife. One unit. With ONE last name. HIS last name. Because I love him. Because it's important to me that we have the same last name. And because it's important to me that that last name have a history attached to it - that it not be some made up, "new" last name. I don't think it's sexist. Or terrible archaic. I just think it's, well... nice. And I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me and Kyle. Marriage is about compromise. I agree to change my name and Kyle agrees to catch and release any and all spiders we find in the house (because while I can't stand spiders, I also can't stand the thought of squashing them.) It works for us. And although it may have taken me almost 6 months to really feel comfortable with actually doing it (and actually spending the requisite hour and a half in a place that makes the DMV look fabulous and fun) it's done now. And it really is the best feeling and I couldn't be happier. Besides my sister-in-law took my brother's (and my) last name when they got married so I know that my family name will go on.

Lady at the Social Security office better recognize!

So yeah. I got a new last name today. Wow. And the first time someone pronounced it (the lady at the social security thanked me as Mrs. H as I gathered up my stuff to leave) - she got it wrong. Sigh. Kyle tells me I should get used to it. Apparently it's a hard name to pronounce. Oh well. At least it's MY hard name to pronounce now.



p.s. it's great to be back - sorry I was gone for so long.

Labels: ,