Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Deep Breath, Regroup, Push Forward

Hit a low point today.
I’ve been stumbling along.
Something had to give.
It gave.
I’m sad.
I’m stressed.
I’m overworked.
But I’m healthy.
And I have friends that love me.
And Kyle loves me.
And my family loves me.
And I’ll get through the next few months.
And I’ll go back to school next year when work eases up.
And I can’t believe I’m taking a leave of absence from school...
I’m so close to being done.

I feel like a quitter.
:(
But I can’t work 60 hours a week AND go to school.
12 hour work days do not leave time for school.
I have to be realistic.

Twelve.hour.days.for.the.next.six.months.
They told me I’ll be working on Christmas.
I cried.
It’s not my fault that we’re behind schedule at work.
I *know* that it’s not my fault.
Repeat: NOT YOUR FAULT, COURTNEY.
Stop beating yourself up.
It’s ok.
Things will be fine.
The world will not end.
It will suck for a while, but it will not end.
Besides, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
Ha ha.
Bad joke.
I must be tired.
I’m going to miss school.
But it’ll be there waiting for me next fall.
And think how much this whole experience will teach me.
In fact, from this point forward, I will consider it an awesome opportunity to really push myself.
I like to push myself.
I can do this.
I will ask for help.
I will prioritize.
I will finish what I start.
I will be ok.

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