Thursday, April 27, 2006

Cruel And Unusual Punishment

Dear parents, soon to be parents, or anyone who ever plans to maybe one day become a parent:

The following is in regard to "Take your kids to work" day.

If you currently work for, or think you might someday work for, a company that sponsors a "Take your kids to work" day, it is important that you remember that there are laws against cruel and unusual punishment in these here fine United States. These laws - in addition to plain old common decency - dictate that this day not be used to torture your children.

Forms of torture include, but are not limited to,
  • Forcing your child to quietly watch you make a hundred zillion power point charts ALL AFTERNOON LONG while sitting in an office FILLED with neato aerospace gadgets that he or she may not touch
  • Trying to make your 8 year old feel included in any discussion involving modal analysis results and/or eigenvectors
  • Subjecting your 12 year old to an hour and half long meeting on the current procurement status of 50-some-odd nuts, bolts, and washers - I swear I saw one child jabbing a pen in his eye to keep from being bored to death

Seriously people, we want to ENCOURAGE our children to grow up, get steady jobs, and become productive members of society... not terrify them into joining the circus at age 18 so as to avoid even the *chance* of one day becoming an overworked and underpaid engineer... in a cubicle... for a giant evil company. Well, on second thought... maybe those parents were on to something.