I'll Take "Computers For Absolute Morons", Please

I am officially retarded when it comes to computers. :( Oh sure, I'll design aerospace qualified mechanisms all day long, but heaven forbid I try to download a music CD onto my computer ... you'd think I'll was blind chimpanzee trying to perform brain surgery. It’s completely unacceptable. Actual quote from a few months ago…

Luke: “… just open up Windows Explorer…”

Me: “Wait, what’s a Window’s Explorer.”

Take blogging (my new obsession) for instance. My blog is so ugly and boring! I can’t stand it. At first I thought everyone’s blogs was boring… default background, standard font, blah blah blah. Ummmm No. Apparently I am the only person on the planet who doesn’t know the secret password and handshake to make my blog come alive. People are posting pictures and links to other blogs… they’ve got counters and music, they’re changing the font, the format, and *gasp* even the background! Why do I not know how to do these things!!?? Did I miss that day in the life school? Was I out sick, did my mom write me a note – because, darn it, she shouldn’t have. She should have said, “get your lazy butt out of bed and embrace the computer… you’ll thank me one day” (She always adds a “you’ll thank me one day” to the end of her motherly tidbits.)

Seriously folks, can’t someone help me out??