Is It Wrong To Want A Penis AND New Boobs?

So last week I discussed my desire for a penis... and that still stands. However, is it wrong that I also want new boobs???

I think we should all face it. Fake boobs are the wave of the future. Soon, fake breasts will be as standard as hair dye and makeup. It's not a fad. It's not going away. Granted, there's a bit of a stigma attached to this particular cosmetic surgery - but damn it, the final product looks so good that, stigma or no stigma, people are going to keep getting them. And as more and more ladies fork over 5-7 grand, the stigma will fade away. In 10 years, I think boob-jobs at age 18 will be standard operating procedure. (No pun intended) It'll be just another rite of passage for young girls.

What about the cost and the pain and the hassle, you ask? Bah! We women already shave and wax and pluck and bleach and dye and paint and straighten and diet and tone and tan and do all sorts of other ungodly things to ourselves in the name if beauty – can you say control top panty hose? Cost, pain, and hassle are no match for a girl's desire to be attractive. Besides, what are a few weeks of pain in exchange for never having to wear a bra again!

My biggest gripe about the whole thing is that it's just not fair to those of us that were born with what we thought were nice boobs! Let me explain… I think God tries to the spread the wealth when it comes to beauty. Some girls have great hair, some have amazing eyes, others have perfect skin; and some of us were born with nice boobs. (It's my blog, and I’ll be conceited if I want to be!) However, with the recent surge of perfect fake boobs, my boobs just can’t compete. (I mean they’re nice and all, but they’re certainly not perfect!) Not only that, but now some chick that was given great skin can also have great boobs!! It’s a double whammy!! I can’t go out and get perfect skin implants why does she get to get breast implants?

But hey, if you can’t beat 'em, join 'em, right? I figure while I wait for perfect skin and hair implants to hit the mainstream, I might as well have breasts that can compete with the formerly flat chest-ed girl next door.

So, uh, can I borrow 5 grand from someone?

I Think I'm Ready For My Penis

I picked up a chick today... seriously, we're having coffee next week. I'm not quite sure why guys are always bitching about how tough it is to find women. I'll admit, Man Jose is a bit estrogen challenged, but there are still plenty of chicks out there. I met her on craigslist.org (lame I know - but if the technology is there, I say use it!) She's adorable - 24, went to U of I, an Editor for Google (note that Editor = non engineer! Yay!)... I'm so looking forward to our coffee date. :)

So I can chug beer well enough to win a snowboard, love college football, know a thing or two about cars, and have officially succeeded in picking up a chick... I think I'm ready for my penis. No?